Expectations, Appreciation and Understanding

Was supposed to head for bed by 1230am (a timing self-set), but I have more important things to do – blog!

Well a truly nottoz-styled (or more aptly nottoz-pre-work-styled) blog has not surfaced since a long while back and we can only blame the draining work ever since Aug 04. That said, it’s gonna be 2nd work anniversary this coming wed!

Yesterday during our gathering, Feng told us about her beau’s proposal. However, the guy wasn’t quite up to expectations and had left my dear friend disappointed. It would have helped if he had sought our advice before the proposal, to fulfill the lady’s expectations. Still, hope Jason succeeds soon as we know both of them are ready for lives together. We’ll be hearing good news soon!

To most of us ladies, that moment of proposal is like the moment for life, the moment that gets engraved in our minds and gets packaged into our “sweet memories” bank for life. This could lead to us having the expectation for a perfect moment, that moment where our hearts just get seized and squeezed, where we find ourselves on cloud nine and ninty-nine. For me, I am undecided on whether I would be happy if WW goes around seeking advice from my female friends, as being the original me, I might just be hoping WW can read my mind. But yes, here we will have to follow the Golden Advice for all relationships: Drop all expectations and see the merit from every well-thought and well-meant action or behaviour.

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I was just telling WW, how I’ve neglected romancing him. These days work occupies a huge part of me and my mind and other times I care more about efficiency in everything than to slow down and take things in appreciation. I complain to WW more than once or twice about his style of communication – packed with a little sting and that tease to dig out the anger in you. Many a times I fell for his trickery and got myself feeling a little unjustified, wondering how he could say things of me, albeit in a joking way. But isn’t this just looking at the little things that tend more to irritate, rather than looking at positive and good things he has done for me?

Also, these days we tend to get irritated more easily, perhaps due to the way we feel we’re treated in this working world. While driving, I’ll tend to scold or criticise other drivers or pedestrians, without realising the effect on the passenger in the car (that’s WW). Negative remarks rub off negativity in me and also the people around me. And it’s true that we should not get mad with those without consideration or who cause inconveniences to us though sometimes not intentionally. So that’s one area of improvement I have to work on – tolerance towards others and not be so niao of them.

Today while deciding where to go before heading back home for dinner, we had a tough time as both of us were trying to come up with suggestions we feel would please the other. Sometimes I feel we spare consideration for the other party, but end up could have a harder time having to decide. I won’t be able to change this perspective of placing WW’s happiness before mine, as I solely hope for him to be happy, and me sure it’s the same for him too.

Ended up he drove me to Simply Bread to buy the European bread I have been craving for, then we went on to Margaret Drive hawker centre for teh and popiah. And hee, I was really satisfied having bought the oatmeal roll, croissant and walnut raisin loaf at Simply Bread. Felt very happy too as WW advised me on a future path of life which once I had envisioned.

And it’s true. If you have something you want to complain about, think first of another good thing that you can compliment on. If you can’t find a solid one, go on to reflect on what worthy thing you have done for your partner. Having this thinking will, in my opinion, make the relationship more beautiful and stronger. Being appreciative and understanding – yet another Golden Advice.

It’s time to cast away work matters on my mind, be grateful and thankful of having WW in my life and embrace all the good things he brings along! Wonderful =)

Date with the Gang

Lunch at KO Japanese Restaurant, Intercontinental, to celebrate Xianhe's birthday! All of us were there except for Ivan, who had to work OT despite it being a Saturday (afternoon somemore). Poor guy, to think that it's only his 1st month or so at work.

The food was better than satisfactory, especially the big and crispy prawn tempura which left WW drooling away. The set lunches Feng, Xianhe, Henry and Michael ordered were served like an eight-course meal, completed savourly with wasabi ice-cream. The other choice lunches Tian, WW and Dennis ordered had salad, sashimi, rice set, chawanmushi, california sushi and ended off with fruits. Unconventional me ordered Tempura soba which also came with salmon handroll, some salad and chawanmushi. The food's great in all! Absolutely deserves another visit.

Yeah, view KO's lunch photos here.

After the meal we shopped around Bugis Junction; the ladies off to buy mascara (realised only I hardly wear them while most others do more often) and to get Xianhe's present. The birthday girl decided to KIV the Renoma wallet she spotted and to go around recce more instead.

Then, time flies... to near 5pm and we set off in our couple pairs and small groups. WW and I went Punggol Park, thinking to fly kite but went stroll around the park instead. Rather big and just right for jogging. Nice! And we had dinner at Chomp Chomp area, but at the other food centre with a thinner crowd.

Today is quite a day of exploration. More to come!

Satay Club @ LPS

Was supposed to go for my Esplanade - Marina Promenade - Kallang Park jog last evening but was feeling nua and lazy. So together with Ah Yun & Baby Yen, we settled for dinner just beside our office - Satay Club @ LPS (Lau Pa Sat)!

Don't we look like students? =P

21st July Fun Day Photos

Hoo yea, the photos are out. Many thanks to Joyce!

Fun Day on 21st July. The video tells much more than the photos; the magic of music that suits the theme just so well.

View photos here.

Excursion with friends from work

The four of us took leave on the same day (yesterday), packed our bags for the planned events for the day and set off for lotsa fun and joy!

Took quite a number of photos for our 15-hours fun day, will post them when obtained from Joyce. Ask JY about photo-taking, haha she was in the limelight, captured for numerous shots as she's the birthday girl. The feeling of being chased by 狗仔对!

We ventured mostly in the East, starting from:
- kaya toast & teh breakfast at Katong
- cycling at East Coast Park
- lunch at Parkway food court
- shopping
- games at Settler's Cafe
- Hokkaido ice-cream at Marina Square
- Waraku Japanese dinner (where 5 others joined us)
- Paulaner's Beer & Cake-Cutting

Quite a lot of activities! Haven't had some much fun with a group in a long while.

Most importantly is that the birthday girl has enjoyed herself! (Despite two very badly-bruised kneecaps which probably will leave her "memorable" scars for some time.)

Random Talk (Write)

WW has been back to work since this afternoon, and me waiting at home for his work "release" before we go for a late-night movie. (Tks Minfen for the movie vouchers, otherwise we will hardly bother about catching movies.)

However, this is the popularity of Pirates of the Carribean, despite the timing:

Wah! 1225am at Tampines Mall and only the light blue ones left! Don't people need to SLEEP?

There are other show timings at 11pm and 1140pm, but don't bother trying to book those tickets online now.

Just now while at Century Square for quick shopping, I made a reservation for these sandals, specifically the one in pink. They are tranferring the available pair from Plaza Singapura branch and I can expect them in 5-7 days' time. Nice? If not I still can reject! =P

Tough working with her

You can say I’m racial-intolerant, but I just can’t stand the way she talks, pronounces her words and places her accent. Help me!! Poor me has to work with her some more, 救命啊！超级无敌机关枪！

I thought I have high tolerance and patience, but hearing her rants and non-stop highly-accented chain of words makes me cling. Add those extremely big eyes, staring right into yours, without blinking. And that finger, pointing somewhat accusingly at you or the document she’s discussing with you on. The strong “NO!” whenever an opposing view or comment is made. Don’t blame me for not able to bear with these!

But yeah, we should exercise compassion and understanding. After all, people come from different backgrounds and culturally, this could be the norm in some foreign lands. Will learn to live with it, if unable to, there’s always an escape path :)

The Good Things in Life

People want to portray themselves in a manner which they deem acceptable in others’ eyes. When faced with situations or events that portray them otherwise, they would push the facts aside and reject such scenario or character internally.

Personally, I would prefer myself to be a good driver, but now I am accepting the fact that I may not be one afterall. If put in nice words, I am an efficient driver. But in reality, I’m just a reckless driver who goes for speed and ain’t happy to let another overtake me. just don’t like men looking down at lady driver. But yah. Now I don’t crave as much going behind the wheels. Let my man do the driving and I enjoy the scenery. Hee.

This morning while still having the little remnants in my mind, a friend smsed me, telling me about her break-up and seeking some advise. I could tell her helplessness, but couldn’t help much except to be there for her.

Then I realised, how much does my piece of little unpleasantness matter? There are so many good things in my life, a bounty of them. If we keep dwelling on the unpleasant things, there is going to be no end. Instead, why not treasure what we have? Think how fortunate to have and hold, to be healthy, employed, having a warm family and a loving partner.

Even for those who dread work, don’t we have time each day to inject a little happiness, doing something you like? These days while feeling uninspired at work, I think of small treats for myself. You favourite food for breakfast or lunch; time after work to read the novel; shopping even if it’s only window-shopping … so many things you can do to feel good.

It’s easier said than done. However, life is short and there isn’t much time for happiness. So why not now?

Desaru - Project Chameleon

Back from our Technology Group offsite at Pulai Desaru Resort! It was two-days fun and experimental programs from which we learn lessons such as team work, risk-taking and communication. There was team-bonding with fellow colleagues and knowing more of one another, so the objectives should have been met afterall.

View the photos here!

Missing my Man

Boohoo. It was raining cats and dogs earlier this morning, the ominous dark cumulonimbus looming on top of our heads, the pre-storm winds blowing akin a mini-tornado, swirling the dropped leaves and rubbish and all around on the roads. Good thing I was few minutes ahead of the storm to reach the safety of the bus stop.

Rainy and stormy weather. Makes me worry about the waves out at South China seas, and fear they might rock the ship too hard. Hope it’s all weather clear over there! Otherwise WW will be puking all over L so long since we last talked, boohoo.

Life is laden with worries. Luckily humans have the ability to forget easily and overwrite worries with nonchalance.

We had a gathering with the scholars and our company’s management, CEO and Chairman just now. I’ve been here for close to two years, but rarely have such a chance for interaction with top management. Most of the time we are too immersed in our work, the day-to-day aspects, to take a strategic view of the business, to take a retrospective moment and to chart our quest for higher ambitions in the corporate world. Some management shared that even though we may chart our aim for the next ten years ahead, things may not turn out the way we have planned. Often, you would need to get ready for the next opportunities, identify them when they come along, and jump in before others do. It’s a matter of prepping yourself up, advancing in certain areas (which I know nothing of either).

So, the CEO wants to have a breakfast session with us, the ones who have graduated and started working here for 1-2 years. The 老教. Don’t know what the agenda is, but glad to be given the chance for some interaction and view-sharing. Otherwise I would just be stuck at my desk handling daily project issues and work!

Why does every item amounts to around $50?

Five Bull Mascot soft toys; three sets of 3D tic-tac-toe; mobile call charges made during the 2-days Bangkok trip; my contribution to G2000 shopping. There go my fifties, soon rolling to hundreds.

Bonus Time coming!

One of my previous blogs mentioned about creative innovation ideas and yet another one kept surfacing in my mind these days. Lots of times, I have ideas and thoughts on my mind which I want to jot down right at that instant, but lack the appropriate tools. Although I have paper and pen with me, writing does not seem such a feasible method of documenting thoughts as it often takes longer than electronic input, and requires a proper setting (try writing while on an mrt or bus). So my next clever invention will be a handheld device for blogging! One which is able to capture time and date, just that you can’t post online unless you subscribe and log in to their network or the Wi-Max our dear government is promising. This may sound like your normal mobile phone, but the new version will bring the qwerty keyboard to you!

Okay, enough of dreaming.

Anyway, bonus time will be here soon! Earliest being end August. Yippie! Before its grand arrival, I’ve list down the things I’m going to conquer!

- Omega watch ($3k) or lower-end watch ($300)
- Make-up course ($300+)
- Hand bag for work ($200)
- Fabulous meal with WW ($150)
- Treat for dear sister and family ($150)

Maybe, if I feel like it
- New wallet ($80)
- Diamond earrings ($200)

Figures are approximates.

Wahaha, the list will roll on till the day comes!

Go with your flow

Shou Bi is singing to 我是不是你最疼爱的人 and though he is some way to being a good singer, it's sweet. Sometimes thinking back, it's hard to imagine my dear brother is reaching 20 in half a year's time.

See below. I used to care how others view me and my quiet character. Especially when there were quite a fair number of entries in my Primary six autograph book encouraging me to open up and speak more so that others could know me better. These days, I'm totally at ease with myself, being absolutely comfortable with myself and my introvert nature. Only my close friends and dear ones understand me. Everyone has his or her set of strengths and weaknesses; don't force yourself to be who you are not, embrace who you truly are.

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

Childhood Fantasies

Some of us friends cum colleagues were talking about teleports and how nice it would be to have them. This reminded me of my many childhood fantasies, of which one was to invent a teleport. Imagine the convenience of going anywhere, anytime you like. Another fantasy was to make myself invisible in front of my class-mates, with them wondering where I have gone to in the split second. Or having a time-reverser machine, going back to the moment where I wish to turn back events. I remember the desire for this invention was most strong when I failed to submit the points I’ve collected for the Scientist badge card thingy (if you recall the blue cards with various star-weighted tasks in it) on the last day of submission. Another one was to have a mind-reader (to be instilled only in my brain, no one else’s, hee) for me to understand exactly what thoughts each has.

Happy Mood Today!

It has been good since the morning, woke up on the right side of the bed (with Tian on the left side), and had my once-a-week routine breakfast of red bean pancake and teh downstairs. Yippie! On the bus to work, I was more awake than other days, reading my book and sitting semi-cross-legged. Wahaha. While walking from MAS building to office, the wind was breezing in my face, messing up my hair, but heck la coz it felt so good.

In the office, there is no meeting today, surprisingly! And my team lead is away most part of the day at a workshop, so I got to do things pretty much at my own pace, but also trying to be efficient.

At the end of the workday, before I was preparing to leave office for home, WW gave me a ring as he was nearby at Clifford Pier. So off we went to Marina South for a drink! Yay, this is like the first time we met during the weekday since quite a long while back. Impromptu yet sweet.

We dropped by Marina Coastal Pier, where Clifford Pier operations have shifted to, to check the place out. The view was good; we could see the open seas, the piers and the sunset shine. After that we had fruit juices at the food centre along Marina South then set off for home as both had dinner at home waiting.

Life is full of ironies and twists. I was still running for the Mercedes cab I spotted, with the parking offence ticket we kena at Marina South (we were there for only twenty minutes!). However, that didn’t dampen my high-spirited feelings. Then while happily seated in the Merz cab, I noticed how sad the taxi driver looked to me sitting in a clamped and limited space with his arms bent hugging the steering wheel. At the end of the day, still feel we are all out for a living, as long as we’re contented with what we have, we will naturally be happy! Nothing can’t quite spoil my mood of the day!

That Won’t Help Matters

Mama was telling me, in a very agitated way, how my Dad loses his temper ever so often these days. Firstly it was the outburst at NTUC counter at the lady (who always helps him pack the groceries onto his wheelchair) over something irrelevant; then there was the rant at the kindhearted soul at Ya Kun who was helping them buy teh. These days, I do notice Dad getting angry quite easily too, sometimes talking loudly till almost shouting at Mama.

Yes, it’s no good to get angry like that, but I believe he doesn’t want it this way either. What my mum does is detrimental in helping Dad cope with his temper, and in my opinion, may just make his temper worse. When you know you are short-tempered, the last thing you would want is to be term “坏脾气”. It’s like you knowing your greatest flaw, yet keep having someone criticising you of it. If you truly want to help someone get over his flaw, give him your encouragement and not your critical remarks.

However, in one way it’s true too that my mum has hardly any other channels of venting her bottled-up emotions. For us, we could easily go online, chat up with friends or seek retail therapy. But for Mama, she has few close friends and bases so much of her life on family, cooking for us everyday and going out only when she has Dad’s company. So sometimes I try to lend my listening ears, let her tell me her complaints and hope she feels better.

At the workplace, an initiative by the top management has gotten some of the scholars uneasy. Their direction is obvious, and my advice to the rest is not to take heart as the future lies in one’s own hands. To everything downside, there is a bright side or opportunity which we may not be able to see straightaway.

Also, these days I tend to feel less affected by the events happening around me. There seems to be this judging of things in a single dimension (the middle path?), to view things from a particular perspective (enlightment?). I think this could be the effect of believing in what I have been reading these days, on the impermanence of things and how we should treat others with compassion. This may sound boring but it does bring some level of calmness in spirits which makes me feel somewhat happier.

Here, we have to draw the line clear between immunity of feelings towards life (aka indifference which could be due to the mundane work life) and the resistance to rocky events that happen so dynamically around us. You have got to maintain your core values that serve as a strong foundation to see you through life. Like an outer vulnerable body with a metal inner core that regenerates cells and skin for the outer shell whenever it rots away. Hmm, what an analogy.

Will parents feel sad when their children start to have their independent ways of life?

Sometimes the best way to vent your anger is by acting cute! Make your arguments sound light-hearted and attempt to get your way through girly childish ways. That supposedly can diffuse the tense mood of the angered party and which lady doesn’t like acting cute? Shall try it the next time I’m about to explode.

Today is Fathers’ Day, which roused up some thoughts in me about how children drift off from their parents gradually and no longer are that close to their parents. Sometimes I have this desire to stay at home, just to interact with my parents to make them feel happier. Sometimes it’s hard to just leave them to do their own stuff and not be around them for the entire weekend. Weekdays are filled with work, thus weekends become more precious. Even though my parents have each other to go out with, and both do not have to work anymore, there are times when I thought they would enjoy going out with us children as a family. No idea how they are thinking though, do they want us to be around, or can just be as happy without us by their sides?

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Has been a great weekend! Shopping on Friday with Tian got my wallet $200 plus lighter, but in return we got a white skirt-jacket pair, two black and one grey tops suitable for work-wear, and some make-up foundation. Tian got a buckled metallic-chain Mango bag, the very hip type. On my own, I bought another white jacket for casual wear and a Phuture London lace top. Damn shiok to shop like that!

Saturday lunch was at 鼎泰峰with the babes from 98S26 – Steph, Sophia & Fang. The lucky mom-to-be still looks as great, unlike many other pregnant women who lose touch of beauty sense when carrying a baby in them. And the shopping for infant stuff after the lunch was fun! Little babies are very fortunate to be able to have extremely sweet and cute toys and clothes right from the moment they are born. Can be designer babies right from birth. Did some more shopping for clothes with Fang, got some tops (Fang, cool sexy top you’ve got ;)), and had good catching up done while walking down the malls. We both were lamenting about how lowly we’re paid and how to strive for a better future.

Early evening, WW picked me up and off to Esplanade and Marina Promenade we went. The sunset there was beautiful, though we didn’t sit facing it we could still see the orangish-yellow shine. Almost weekly I have my regular jogs there, but somehow sitting there with your loved one just passing time chatting about anything feels so different and special. Oh we saw this Boat Jet speeder boat racing past, with passengers on it and it driven by an ang moh. The jet had a shark’s face in front, and its body painted red. Fast and fierce, but very adventurous as it rocked from side to side and even went all the way out into the far open seas. I want a ride! Talking about rides, I suggested to WW on taking the DHL hot-air balloon high up into the air to get a panoramic view of Singapore, but he felt it a risk in case the balloon burst or the ropes broke. Must be cautious in life and avoid unnecessary exposures.

The Mobile Workforce

Congratulations to Wong Tian, on clinching a new job and leaving her current dreadful London hours work!

My power sister has switched two jobs, going into her third stable one next month, within 3 years of her graduation. And what have I accomplished? Still stuck here for close to two years, but things may not be status quo yet.

Can’t wait for later (on half-day leave), coz I’m going shopping with Tian! My shopping list:
- Shoes
- Shawl
- Suits
- Casual jacket
- Foundation
And let’s say, budget $500? Oh no, there goes my tight control!

Solitary Lives

1 – Transforming dissatisfaction at work
Be content with the work you have. So if you fail (do not get the promotion you aim for), that is where one’s attitude and the practice of contentment can make the difference between anger, resentment and frustration, and a calmer and happier attitude.

Applause to MacDonald’s, for adding (again) healthier sides to their menu! Corn, salad, apple dippers are added, all in an effort to promote a more balanced diet with added portions of vegetable and fruits in our meals. Hooray! Guiltless Beef Fantastic with its relatively low 310 kilo-calories and 3 g fats, unbelievable huh.

Relating back to my blog topic, people these days live pretty much on a solitary life. At the end of the working day when you have that sudden crave for shopping, you head off to shopping malls on your own. Or after exercising, you have your own dinner at the nearby coffeeshop or food court. During lunchtime, if you can’t find your lunch kaki you just drop by the nearest café or eatery. Taking lessons, getting gifts, checking out new places, running errands, all to be done on your own. I suppose that’s how an adult life works out to be. It is tough arranging a time convenient for all, and weekends are reserved for your loved ones. And often, you get things done more efficiently when alone, with more focus on the tasks on hand. Modern living.

Checkpoint: With more than half of 2006 passed by, have you accomplished or even on your path to achieving your goals for this year?

Town of Hallstat, Austria

Latest Book Purchase

Newest purchase from MPH bookstore. A book much in need, in tolling times in the new work economy. I’ve read the first chapter so far, and found it to be applicable and useful. It throws in a new light into our attitude and mentality, offering fresh perspectives, but which may be relevant to those who truly believes in values taught along the line of Buddhism.