小男人，大男人

Recently I have been tuning in to Channel 8 when I reach home after work. On show is this drama serial about men in various stages in life, portraying the different situations and issues men have to face. Pride, ego, freedom from marriage, family responsibilities, infidelity, temptations – these are but some of the main themes running in the show.

In the first case, there’s the middle-aged man (played by 黄文永) with a caring wife (played by 陈丽贞) but who is also a career woman. At times the wife places career before family, but is still generally concerned about her husband and her young boy. This man faces the typical middle-aged scenario – middle manager level at work, faced with possible retrenchments as there are younger and more driven chaps at the workplace, and also has young sexy ladies as colleagues. There is one such divorcee who actually likes mature 40 plus year-old men and who teaches this man yoga at her place. So, as you have guessed it, the man starts falling for the sexy divorcee (played by 宋怡斐) and from here onwards, the serial will progress to show the development of their relationship and how the man’s marriage gets affected. (But don’t get the wrong idea, she’s actually a rather nice and rational lady in the show.)

I find this scenario very real. A vulnerable man (oh in the show 黄文永 got erectile dysfunctional) falls for a pretty and sexy lady colleague. This could be due to fading of his relationship with the wife, and due to the appearance of a Great Temptation. But you can’t quite blame the man either… a man is a man.

The second case – a young couple married out of shotgun. Both only 22 years-old, and currently living with the guy’s parents. Wah, this case is truly reflective of real-life case and I can somehow feel its genuineness. There are conflicts arising between the young wife (played by 李芝怡) and her mother-in-law, especially when both are stubborn beings. The young couple are quite poor things too, having only a small room to themselves and their baby, where only there can they have their privacy away from the rest of the family. I suppose life for most back then, where couples have to live with their parents in HDB flats, were not that easy after all. So, the young wife, being the modern and hip young lady, started her own business with a friend and insisted on moving out to a condo of their own. However, she faces strong resistance from her mother-in-law (for obvious reasons) and the poor husband is torn in between the two women of his life. The story progresses from here..

The third case – a young executive with the looks, the drive, the car, and termed a “designer good” by his current girlfriend (played by 傅芳伶). But this guy does not believe in marriage, runs away from committal ladies, and does not curb or watch his spending when he sweeps his expenses away on his credit cards. Eventually, the girlfriend, who herself is classy, beautiful, good in character, and all ready to settle down, decides to leave this guy if she is not given the status and stability. So at the end of the serial, she is supposed to get married to another guy, though in her heart she longs for the designer good. Similarly, the handsome chap loves her but is unwilling to give up his freedom for love.
I wonder how the outcome will be.

Linking to reality, if you read the Saturday papers, you would have came across these comics portraying the plights of men at various age brackets – 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and 60+s. It just seems to get sadder as the age bracket advances. All these responsibilities, car and house loans, debts, marriage woes, heavy workload, stress from fear of retrenchments, saving up for retirement, children’s education, healthcare bills.. and the list just seems endless. Is life really getting this sad? The case gets aggravated when men bottle things up and think they can solve them all somehow. At least women cry out them within their women network, take up some boliao hobby to let our minds concentrate on more minute tasks or take solace in human relationships – the warmth from friends or other family members.

If really life has only this one path for us to head towards, where comes the motivation? Why not look forward to setting up own business successfully sometime in our 30s, working hard and reaping rewards for our seeds planted, seeing our business take off and manage an early retirement? Then head off for some 环游世界, seeing beyond our local lands, contributing to the needy by doing volunteer work, donating to charities and get non-literal headaches from thinking of how to enrich own and other’s lives instead of how to foot their snowballing bill.

Sometime down the road, say 20 years later, how will life turn out to be?

Happy start to the week!

Coz I can do things (OT)2 and go off on the dot for an early swim! Lalala, no wonder my colleagues commented on my chirpiness. BTW, (OT)2 stands for Own Time Own Target, not Overtime x2. This Thursday I’ll be getting the laptop I’ve been eyeing for too. With that there will be freedom to do work or surf net on the bed, and to bring it out for use during weekends at cafes or at MacDonald’s. So happy~

The two 女人 have started drawing on sketch books, one for each of us – TJY, Ah J and I. I’m impressed by their artistic nature, the detailed drawings and sketches layout. As for me, I can’t draw! The most would be pencil-brushed strokes and a few skeletonal frames. But you two are really evoking the artistic brain cells in me, calling out the creative side of me huh. I shall try.

Next Tues I will have to convert to being a rat, joining all the other “rats” in the race in KL. Not sure what it means by winning this Rat Race. Does it mean winning the prize money or more symbolically means being free and way ahead of all in this corporate world? What does it really mean by being ahead in the rat race? Is it the same as breaking out of it?

(Yep, I’ll be away at KL for two days, together with four other ladies in a team and another guy team, representing my company in this corporate race organised by Bursa Malaysia.)

Oh I haven’t mentioned, one more month to the big amount. My neck is getting way too long…

Melancholic

I no longer people-watch and do not enjoy the sceneries as much anymore. Losing interest in things and sometimes just too disappointed with humans. Eden correctly observed my irritability with bad service. Actually, what have they done to offend me?

It's more or less determined interally; I need a change in environment. Will miss buddies, especially when they are just building up the rapport. But I guess in life you give and take. Furthermore, how to put up with something you are not able to stand for some period of time already?

Singapore Indian vs India Indian

Meant to do an update but there are other priorities such as chatting up with friends and having my precious sleep! Also it’s difficult with Fluffy on my lap.

Weekend has been gooood yeah. Relaxing, soothing and happy. Just now was listening to Prime Minister’s speech but felt some topics were rather old issues. But there was one statement I agree totally – Singapore Indians are very different from India Indians. Haha you know what I mean. But of course the next sentence really is not one everyone would stand by – to welcome them into our nation, our lives as they contribute to Singapore and help create a better world for us. Although I’ve studied with a lot of Chinese, Indians, Mauritius friends in Uni, I still find that idea hard to swallow when it comes to competitive foreign counterparts. Those who always want to outshine, outdo and outperform. Those who want all the limelight. Those who are robbing away your rice bowl!

Wahaha, but who cares? In the long run there will no more office, no more office politics, for me. Hooray =)

忍者为王！

There has been some self-perceived rivalry, which puts me on my edge as I don’t like unnecessary unhappiness and competition. Although you may say it’s self-perceived thus not exactly accurate, I still feel my sixth sense can’t go too wrong. I don’t like pretence, back-stabbing, secret competition. If you want, come out direct and I’ll fight with you, just like spurring in a taekwondo match.

Good thing my dear friends are able to see through my hide, the hide of cheerfulness. Tks buddies. Today we had lunch at 大长今Korean restaurant, one which serves authentic Korean dishes. J treated us to the meal (谢谢！) . Tomorrow we will be singing our hearts out at Party World and perhaps having supper after the KTV. Time to forget all troubles, worries, agonies. 忍者为王！

But haha I also hope to cultivate more compassion, because these days I seem to get more easily irritated by people who walk damn slowly in front of me, who cut people’s lane as if the person is invisible, who give me a fake smile (those really insincere kind) and who pokes me in the wrong way.

Jazz in the City 2

Favourite CD for the moment

Common Brown Elephant (hoho)

I support my boss' opinion, even though I'm not a keen follower of politics. And rather impressed by boss' ability to articulate political views and be able to see through some of the big party's policies with their flaws.

* applauds*

Sunday updates

Courtesy of my colleague, here are the photos for the Singapore Fireworks Festival from Singapore team on 8th August 06.

We didn't catch the fireworks on Tues; caught the ones on the previous two days though. Friday evening I ran off after work for dinner with Papa Mama Tian & Henry at LPS, then headed straight to Fullerton. Lucky us were able to secure fairly direct-view places and waited eagerly for an entire hour before the displays from New Caledonia team. Photos to come later. Ah, glad Apa Ama enjoyed the works as they have not seen the fireworks through bare eyes since years ago!

On Sat, we - Steph, Sophia, Fang, me and all our partners - were at one of the corridors at Marina Square, obediently standing behind some small crowd and waiting eagerly (again) for the fireworks some half hour before 9pm. Patient me didn't complain much about the tall couple standing in front of me, somewhat blocking my view especially when they shifted around quite a bit. So guai. But thought would have been better if I had wore heels instead of flats and blocked all of them instead. Wahaha.

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Weekend Updates
Sat I was roped in to do BCP blogging, since the main blogger needs a backup and knows I blog. So there I was, at our DR site early in the morning at 8am. Good thing it was near home and needed only a short taxi ride. The whole exercise ended at around 3pm, and I left a little earlier when WW came by and picked me up. So off we went, to his place for an afternoon nap. Shiok.

Come evening we went Marina Square Waraku Japanese restaurant for dinner with the gang. Stephie's tummy has grown bigger and it will be another 7 weeks plus to her BB's popping.. that's fast! I don't think I'll be ready to be a mama anytime soon. The other two ladies Sophia & Fang changed jobs recently too, just about time for the switch. Don't get exploited by a miser employer! Don't be shortchanged. So me happy for one of them for getting pay increment, and the other for finding a more satisfying job. =) When is my turn? Heh heh.

Next object of desire

My next object of desire - Asus W5F

Went Funan the IT Mall with the Man today, after I've made up my mind on purchasing my next object of desire. Pearl-white light-weight 1.6kg Asus notebook, very much needed for me to do my work during the weekends, and for use during workday nights. Also will come in handy for picnics in the car, with DVD or VCD playing comedian shows or light-hearted ones for entertainment.

This morning, since it's a National Day holiday morning, I made my way to CoffeeBean @ SingPost for breakfast and enjoyed the museli parfait thoroughly. Yummy! I always believe that a good breakfast equates a good start to a beautiful day. Chewing the museli breakfast while reading a magazine or the papers is indeed soul-satisfying.

Also, we went to a new cafe in Pasir Ris Park in the afternoons for a late lunch. Though it was about 245pm when we made our orders, the food still came rather late - 325pm. Many customers were unhappy with the long wait and could not bear with their growling stomaches, thus had their orders cancelled. What a mismanagement, a new cafe without proper work processes and allocation of roles and tasks. Haha, you see the work we do in our companies actually teach us more than what's required at the workplace. You can apply it in everyday situations. Back to the lunch. The food was good though, worth half the wait. Logically no one would bear waiting for long. And if the wait is ever more than half an hour, no matter how good the food is, it still won't be compensable. Good thing both of us managed the expectations well, having saw customers going up to complain right from the start.

National Day's over, and also meaning another workday ahead for us. 1am, and my body repair time is just over too. There goes another night without resting for my poor body, all in the name of *work*. (Damn, they had better pay me more.)

Something’s boiling up in me these days and I’m afraid if I’m not able to let them out or resolve them in some way, it’s gonna turn around and swallow me instead.

Chinooks can fly so low!

What are those black little things flying just a little above the ships at the sea? So I went nearer the window to have a second look, and realised those were Chinooks flying so low just above the sea! Looking like black houseflies hovering above a bowl of soup. Hee hee.

Since the Man is working in an Air Base now, I’ve increased that little bit of knowledge on aircrafts, but still has yet to see for myself the Super Puma he maintains. What I know is that it is tough keeping that thing in tip-top condition, and damn stressful when it comes to incidents occurring. If you want an easy life, avoid fire-fighting work.

Feeling a little sian that I’ll be heading home after work today as it’s a public holiday eve. But, I promise to leave at 6pm! Intending to catch PM’s National Day speech and get an idea of his vision for Singapore’s future. Our 铁饭碗s will depend on that. And hopefully I’ll be able to chart clear directions for own career soon.

Looking forward to a day without work tomorrow! Feel like going for a picnic at Fort Road, Cosy Bay area, but don’t know if WW is keen coz there’ll be lotsa people who will be trying to catch the fireworks from the National Stadium. And would be good to have Apa Ama go along for the fireworks display.

Adding on...
- 内在美 (wahaha)
- Sports Shoes (coz I have taken Tian’s for a long while; it’s time to return)
- Vitasence moisturizer

Can’t wait!

Beautiful for all

Firework shoots from my colleague's camera - Singapore Fireworks Festival 2006, performance by Italy team at Marina Bay, 5th August 06. Catch the set here. Anyone keen for more fireworks tomorrow?

Today has been a slightly blue-toned Monday, with the afternoon full of meetings that ran close to four hours. Very draining and I can't stand them sometimes. So the more I'm thinking of my freedom.. the times to be with the sun, with the afternoons, with the natural sunset breeze.

Just now while about to leave the office for head, my colleague said "Tomorrow's Friday" and I got a short shock, but was feeling so happy after realising, yeah, it's true! Wednesday holiday fills us with such joy!

2359 - trickling into another week

2300 – The usual time I would aim for to finish clothes-ironing every Sunday evening, and the time for me to settle down to round up some events for the weekend before the start of another new week.

This weekend’s activities reinforced some practical life theories:
- It doesn’t matter where you are, how the situation is, or even what you are doing, most of the times what truly matters is who you are with.
- A good break, though short, refreshes the mind and soul. Everyone will need it every now and then.
- No one can be as understanding and considerate to you than your family.

This weekend WW and I spent time idling away, passing time doing things we like. No pressure, no rush and almost all the weekend to ourselves. Yeah! I think both of us are mature to the point of liking old folks’ stuff and sometimes living old folks’ kind of life. Breakfast at Jalan Kukoh food centre and Margaret Drive food centre – both 老人区 – on two consecutive days. Reading Saturday papers by Suntec koi pond; checking out a cookie stall opened by WW’s friend; queuing (WW, not me, hee) for famous fish soup at a stall along Beach Road although it was hot hot hot; playing pool; hearing the fireworks but not able to see them while having dinner at Sketches at Robertson Walk – all seemingly small activities that add up to lotsa great time.

It doesn’t matter where you are, how the situation is, or even what you are doing, most of the times what truly matters is who you are with.

Appreciation – please show it more
Mama was cooking dinner this afternoon, frying egg omelette that gave out a mouth-watering aroma. I complimented her cooking, saying it smells so nice and should be yummy. Haha, she was happy to hear that as to her, this is some form of appreciation for the hard work she has put in for the whole family everyday. My dad hardly compliments Mama, making her feel at times just like a maid in the family.

Sometimes seeing how old-time couples take things for granted, gradually lacking that loving touch for each other and end up grumbling about each other rather than showering compliments and words of thanks, I would feel that pinch of sadness. Maybe should help Apa Ama spice up their lives, heh.

Appreciation from others on one’s efforts is a driver for one to achieve more and to do better. At work I hear colleagues lamenting the lack of appreciation from their bosses. Why then slog so hard, since one’s work may just go unnoticed?

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This evening Apa, Ama, me and Fluffy went to Bedok Reservoir – the last such time was like eons ago! They were on their wheels, Fluffy on her leash and me in my torn and tattered sports shoes. Managed a 25.13 minutes run and soaked in the sunset before we headed for home. Papa was sweating and panting away from the exercise, but it was a good effort! Must teach them the importance of exercising so that we all can be healthier.

Ah, this weekend had been a very pleasurable one.

5 minutes from the end of it; that bittersweet feeling is seeping in.

Starting to miss all things good, knowing come the start of the work week, I’ll be throwing myself into another rush-buzz, forgetting who I really am.

I must find back my big words; let's start with: Passion

Tomorrow’s Friday, the last day of the work week, thus the excuse for sleeping late tonight. Really miss the days of late nights and afternoon naps!

I used to express my views on big topics like adult responsibilities, balance between heart and mind, liberation, and similar philosophical matters. I seem to have lost this touch after starting work two years ago.

It’s true. Breaks in between work serve a big purpose – the rest of mind and heart. I was at an IT Service Management conference with my supervisor and another senior-rank colleague for the past two days, and had the space to think of other issues though I was also listening to the presenters.

Passion – How to find it?
People these days, in my opinion, lack passion in the things they do. Or perhaps I’m not exposed to passionate people in my scope of life so far.

Ask those around you if they really live for their work, live for their dreams, many will tell you it’s simply a survival life game. Some may strive hard in their work, but for what, you ask them yet they can’t tell you exactly what for. Job satisfaction? That’s a long-dated word which appears more on my final-year thesis than my two years of work.

So, I’m secretly happy to see the split on the career line at the middle of my palm (I believe in palmistry) which signifies a change of career or dual-career sometime down the road. Do I have a passion in working in the IT line? Honestly how many young ladies would tell you they have? (Here there is a distinction between genders as I truly believe guys, in general, have more genuine interest in technical systems and equipments than ladies do.) Consolation is that my job role is more a people- and process-oriented one, which allows me to deal with other technology folks and the business users.

So what is my passion? I can’t answer that.

I know I like talking to people, listening to their woes and providing them with golden advice, though I may still be a thousand miles away from being a guru. Thus becoming a psychologist could be one future route. But that takes more than interest; you need excellent academic results, superb communication skills and an iron-strong will not to bend under dire situations and negative influence.

I think making, baking and selling European-styled bread rolls and loaves are interesting activities that may fetch some income, but where businesses or new entrepreneurships are concerned, there often is more to lose than gain. At one point I’ve seriously thought it could work out – opening a niche bakery just for the expatriates and for those who truly know how to appreciate authentic European bread. Perhaps I should make my career goal being the raising of sufficient capital, then fly over to Europe for a year to explore and pick up skills.

At the end of the day, I’ll come back to square one, sit at my desk in front of the PC and start dealing with work pieces that come one after another, on top of each other.

Sometimes this way of working can get so immunising! And I’ll miss the sun so badly on some days, being able to see the sunny scenery (if I turn my head) but not able to feel the sun.

To start counting down? More wants!
Counting down to bonus day. Judging from the record profits last FY, we should be expecting our bonus end this month. Since the last update, there have not been many new items surfacing in Want-List, except for:

- Laptop, preferably a pretty pearl-white one coz I’m vain ($4k)

Old list:
- Omega watch ($3k) or lower-end watch ($300)
x Make-up course ($300+) --> don't want anymore
- Hand bag for work ($200)
- Fabulous meal with WW ($150)
- Treat for dear sister and family ($150)
- Diamond earrings ($200)

Maybe, if I feel like it
- New wallet ($80)

KL Rat Race
They roped me in for this run in Kuala Lumpur, representing a team from my company for this charity run organised by Bursa Malaysia. But I’m no marathon or any simple run material! Greenhorn. Plus the daunting terrain is scaring me off even before I set foot on KL lands. But still wish me luck! Hopefully CEO will remember those who go for the run and award us with more!

Ok, time to sleep. Will be merry-ing away for the next two days and hopefully able to catch some fireworks over the weekend. Happy weekends! Lulalalala!