Count to 10 before you lash out in anger

Very often, it is not what you say that will make your partner angry - it is how you say it. Whenever you feel challenged in a situation, step back and count to 10 before continuing the argument. This gives you time to compose yourself and think things through.

I regretted saying the mean things in a fit of anger and in self-deluded vengeance before completely understanding the situation. I blamed the man for not giving clear directions and leaving me in a state of uncertainty - was it for real and are we moving forward? Aren't we supposed to? All evil thoughts snowballed into a mass; it hit the victim quite badly.

We spent more time sorting out the mess of thoughts and feelings. It turned out there were other priorities in his mind that have to be cleared for the big event. (Spell: finances.) The biggest worry and headache for to-be-wed couples and subsequently, for married couples and families. To me finances ain't too much of a worry as I have some savings and expect nothing more than a simple wedding. To the man, expectations on himself are higher, both self-imposed and family-induced. I suppose a man's responsibilities are still greater than those of a woman's, though I do not believe it has to be so.

The outburst served as an apt reminder, at a most appropriate time where things could go either way. Frustrations could potentially build up or, as long as things have been discussed through and agreed upon, mutual understanding could be reached. Now I know better than to allow my negatives thoughts feast on themselves and grow. I re-learn the importance of standing in the other's shoes, seeing in all perspectives. Thoroughly exercising the big word "Understanding". To approach things in a non-confrontational way and in a manner that allows conducive discussions.

There is much to learn. Thank you Nan Ren for giving me the time, the chance and the love to learn.