Thursday, August 28, 2008

:(

It's no fun... been a month but it feels like ages and I'm oreadi starting to count down.

Swamped with tutorials, assignments, projects and readings. My blog entries will be like this - short paragraphs with little content - till I get it over and done with. In some 10 months' time!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

What is the definition of Success?

MFE student life is apparently not easy.

Lecturers have high expectations of us and take it that we have the required math foundations. Thus some of the tutorials are extremely difficult and we'll have to approach the professors to get our solutions. And to think we've spent days working on that one problem! Everyday to me has become a tutorial-chasing and catching-up game. All other things have been shifted to low priority and have to be cut down. Except for personal time spent with loved ones. That is why I'm not too pleased with the make-up lesson scheduled this Sat afternoon.

My supervisor (from work) called to inform of my appraisal grade earlier today. I wasn't too happy with it initially, thinking I must been have shortchanged due to my absence from work. But as I was running mightily on the treadmill thinking of the rationale, I came to accept the fact that it should be a fair judgment, given the expectations that I won't be contributing this FY and that my team was a mess last year before the new boss came in. Let's see how bonus compares the rest and I'll decide on my next move. I'll expect they compensate for it next year before I rejoin the company.

WW has been pretty stressed and unmotivated at work recently. I can't think of any way to help relieve this stress permanently, unless the day comes when he can leave where he is now. How can we ever break out of this race and routine lifestyle? Is it only the weekends we can look forward to, and the sparse holidays in between? Why can't we find the spirit and motivation to look forward to everyday?

Back to the appraisal, I feel inferior comparing with peers and upset that I might be lagging a lot behind when I rejoin the company. But, perhaps as a self-consolation, I'm glad of the fact that I'll be happily settling down into marriage this year and that I have the support of WW and my family. And even though I'm struggling through this year with an extremely-difficult course, I'll come out of it a stronger, and hopefully, a more valuable person. Perhaps, there really isn't a perfect well-rounded case when you get it all. There has got to be some sacrifices for other pursues. It matters then what you prioritise as important and really will have to drop the others.

Well, it ain't always easy. Just gotta take things in your stride and laugh all the unhappy stuff off!