Missing Swiss

Oh how I miss the times with WW during our Europe trip (Jun 04)!

We were at Lucern, Switzerland. You can see the Water Tower behind. Quite a famous tour sight, and a common postcard picture target. How did WW look with his long hair?

Houses like this are all over Switzerland. Their roofs designs, double-insulated window frames and nice colours are distinctive characteristics. I was craving for yogurt while on the cruise ship at Interlaken, Switzerland.

Short-term Life Goals

Yet another weekends. It's getting somewhat mentally tiring. Weekdays rush work, even bringing work home to do on some days. Can't sleep well either, when the mind is full of work-related questions.

So, it's back to finding the purpose and aim of living. What goals to achieve? Let's see.
1. Get my well-being reinvigorated - It's being so long!
2. Take up one of these sports/exercises: Tennis, Yoga or Golf. Learning golf is WW's idea and I like it. We can learn golf together. It's a purposeful activity to fill our weekends and a way for us to instill relaxation and a little travel (we can head off to Malaysia for golf).
3. Spend more time with family - plan an outing to somewhere nice, maybe McRitchie Reservoir, and a good meal treat
4. Give WW and his family a big treat after getting my bonus
5. Arrange gatherings with friends

I realised I didn't add any goals in the area of self-improvement. Good that I'm happy with what I am now. Not going to add any work goals here; can't let them clog my mind. Well, all are simple goals, not aiming for a lot like getting certifications or clinching MBA. Simple life is a happy life.

Do Bloggers have a right?

Yay! Time to blog again!

Yesterday a colleague from Corporate Communications (Corp Comm) department asked me for a discussion session regarding my views on blogging. He came upon my website www.comp.nus.edu.sg/~wongyunz, but to find the link broken. It's high time for me to do some springcleaning, find an affordable web hosting domain to showcase my nice webpages! And it's also time to do some revamp on my webpages. Gotta reflect higher maturity and substantiate with more information.

My views about blogging huh. As long as I steer clear of political issues, avoid naming people or companies when I complain about them and put things in a nice-about way, the chances of being sued for slander should be minimized, if not eliminated. Blogs, in my opinion, are about one's personal views and the blogger has the right to say what he/she feels like. What's the point of blogging then, if one cannot express his most true emotions and thoughts? It is not that there is a governing body on blogging which controls how the words written affects the reputation or integrity of others. Chey, everyone knows writing blogs is a way of relief, a channel of expression. Even if names are brought up on public sites, it is up to the reader to believe in what is being told. Companies may take accusations against them seriously, on the stand that their business reputation gets affected. But hey, everything goes by the word of mouth anyway, it's really up to the individual to be influenced.

I haven't seen WW for 4 days, which seems quite long! Tomorrow going for pokey-session again, but somehow I'm looking forward to it. Maybe coz I get to eat dinner with WW in the serene old town of Clementi, and enjoy the teh-drinking and chitchat sessions with Nan Ren after the "gym". Almost everytime, I would grumble about the costs spent at the "pokey-session" and be upset about the long time spent waiting for my turn. WW would listen to my complaints, bear with my blackish face till I feel better again. Yeah... wei da nan ren! Muack! Now I've starting budgeting for these sessions, and it does help reduce my moodiness. At least now I know how much I can spend on them.

Yeah. I had better leave for home now, otherwise the sun would have set on me! :)

Missing WW... just after he left for home

Today I have been an emotionally-charged lady. Upon reach WW's house, I was grumbling about not having his attention, with him watching Japanese babe in the TV program. But he just woke up from his nap after all, can't blame nan ren. After that, I was subconsciously noting to see if he looks at me during dinner, but didn't really detect much. I think there are times when he just blank out and let his mind stay in resting mode. Only females care that much about getting eye-contact attention all the time and want more attention than needed. Hee, but I haven't got my PMS in a long while, so that is a good excuse for me to feel more sensitive than usual today. On the whole, today was a great day and I felt it was very meaningfully spent. Just now WW drove me back home and came up to stay for a while. Just as he left for home, I felt a feeling of urge, to be beside him and to have his company all the time. Was feeling sad that we could only meet a few days later. Booohoo, all the softer side of me showing..

Haiz. I did my calculations on savings and expenditure just now and to my dismay, my projected savings were way too over-estimated. I could barely save close to $200 a month and my bank accounts were simply scraping through the months. What is the point of budgeting, scrimping and saving to face a near-depletion account at the end of the month? How much is enough to sustain my lifestyle? Perhaps I lead too lavish a lifestyle, spending around 100 bucks each time I go shopping (including unintended shopping trips). Do I need the working suit set and the pair of shoes? Do I need to do pedicure just because it would bring more business to the manicure shop owner and indirectly, making me a more supportive friend? Why does the world evolve around money??

Day after day, week after week. In the hot pursuit of supposedly noble goals and dreams, what exactly are we trying to achieve and have we achieved them in any sense? Are we making any progress? It's easy to lose sight amid the hectic life. Once again, I've got to ask myself the fundamentals of life and to challenge on the principles of setting such fundamentals. Is happiness more important than material indulgence? Will my pay be sufficient to sustain a luxurious lifestyle?

WW took me on a ride to the high-life's bungalows in the Bukit Timah and Holland area. Gosh. I didn't know such BIG houses exist in Singapore. For a split second, I thought I was in some part of Europe. How much efforts does it take one to own such a bungalow? Can anyone who is born a pauper ever attain such status? This is something beyond my dreams. And it makes me feel, what we need is not only the good fortune to be born in a rich family, but also the luck to bring or maintain (at least) the wealth. Either that, or one has to be the top of the tops, cream of the crop, to be able to excel in his area of work or research. You can't be number 2, can't be the good among the best. In fact, in my opinion, it may be better to be the no. 1 in your area, doing something passionately and with your honed expertise, than to be one of the "generalists" in an area which fetch high rewards.

Such is life! I've gotta rethink my prorities, especially been putting in lotsa time and thinking into the work aspect. Everyone needs his goal to push things on, to believe in a better future!

Some photos to share

WW and I at his convocation! :)

We have a Dream

I like seeing the two fighter planes doing their tricks in the air, chasing each other and making steep ascents up into the skies of high altitudes. I wonder how it feels flying so freely in the sky, above buildings, human, landscape and all. It's like a big bird soaring into great heights, feeling the air in its wings. Free! Boundless! Sometimes I like to simply look at the clouds and the sky, appreciating the shades of blue in it. The concept of having no boundary, no end and being infinitely vast is amazing. If I were ever to become an animal, I would choose to be a bird. (Not a crow though.)

I read my friend's blog at jyaisu.blogspot.com with quite some emotions. It makes me realise how much I've been blogging about work and work, and missing out all the softer aspects of life. She reminiscences the past, ponder on the questions of life and marvels at the beauty of love. What about me? I talk about work most of the time. Maybe it's because I don't have PMS these days (or months), and that I've been too focused on making it big in my career. It's true, like what she said, that lovers talk a lot, including idlic chit chats, to each other. With WW, I like making both nonsensical small talks and serious conversations. He can accept my crappiness and talk even more crap than me. Hee. There are no restrictions; I say what I like and feel and he understands them so completely.

There is one aspect I feel we would like to have more though, which is spending time together. At times of stress at work, I tend to slip into escapism mode for a short while, daydreaming about having time away from work. I dream of spending the days in beautiful Switzerland with WW, be it working or just spending our lives there. Working there would give us more leisure time due to the shorter working hours and we would be able to do what we like. Walking hand-in-hand down the wide open streets lined with marvellous views of Swiss Alps and gothic churches - this is our dream. To achieve it - that is our motivation. Hee, so maybe that is why I focus a lot on work hmm.

Yeah, anyway I like having the chance and time to blog at this time, between 5 plus to 6 plus pm. Then, I would pack up and go home happily for a warm meal cooked up by Mama. These days I'm super-efficient and finish loads of work fast! That's why I can blog now! :)

I'm so focused! (hmm, on work)

It has been a long day!

I'm here taking my well-deserved break, waiting for knock-off time to go home for a jog. Totally brain-dead now and can't absorb anything anymore. I am amazed at my own ability to concentrate on work full eight hours a day. Superwoman me!

Yesterday's lunch was on my boss at Chinese Swimming Club. We went there to check out the function room I've booked for an offsite. It was weird that he didn't want another colleague, who is involved in the offsite planning, to come along. When I asked him in the morning "Should we get XX along as well?", he did not reply me instantly but went over to XX instead, telling him "I need by this afternoon, could you finish it up?". Then, he turned to me and told me something like "Never mind, you come along can already." Strange, huh. Suspectingly, I feel he doesn't quite value XX and at times, I could even hear him demanding work from him. My other colleagues in the department told me that is his "pattern", to have unreasonable demands and very tight deadlines at times. Well, I haven't really gotten the flavour of it yet, but I won't want to try. And somehow, I feel he treats me a little nicer either because I'm a female (hmm, CKP?) or that the management knows me. If I let it to my head, it could really make me feel somewhat superior. But in reality, there are tons to achieve as people's expectations are way higher.
I realize I don't have much patience with colleagues who pick things up too slowly, especially when they start asking seemingly stupid questions. I suppose in a fast-paced society there is no room for errors, no room for slowness and everyone is competent in their own ways. People who has no special skills or can't pick up things fast will get eliminated in this man-eat-man corporate world. If I were a boss, I will definitely be kicking incompetent people out of the company. That is mean, but that is how things work in the corporate, profit-oriented world. We need effciency, and an extremely high level of it.

Hmm, after talking so much about corporate stuff, it's time to wind down and go home for a good rest. Off to jogging at my friendly neighbourhood park!

Simple couple leading simple lives

It's a Friday night, but we don't mind having a simple dinner followed by tea at a coffeeshop, chatting the times away. WW picked me up from work at close to 8pm, then we went to Parkway Parade for dinner at HANs, one of our favourite hang-out eateries (the others include Crystal Jade restaurant and Yogihub). This time round we did a switch with me ordering his usual dish and vice versa. Ended up I still ate my usual spinach pine nut pesto linguine while he had his pomodoro linguine coz the pine nuts' taste got him disgusted. I left quite a tangle of linguine untouched while finishing up all the pine nuts as I found the taste of the spinach a little weird. Nevertheless, I like the place, tucked at the back of a small building with big supermarket NTUC Fairprice in front. It was a cosy place, though space-wise it took up quite a big area.

After the dinner, we went to a pet shop, looked at some fish and the beautifully-decorated fish tanks with fluorescent tubes attached. How nice if it could be placed at my workstation in the office. I was looking at the kois, thinking back of the times when we kept those small ones at home. I like kois for their expressive faces, which portray their features and behaviors so vividly. I face no other fish having such expressive features as kois. WW doesn't seem to share my interest in kois, and didn't quite bother to take a second look at those cute little ones. He was more interested in the glowing fish instead. Next time it will be therapeutic having a big fish tank (those self-filtered kinds) filled with lovely small glowing fish and kois and the soothing seaweeds/plants. Talking about fish, I'm starting to miss the ones I've kept previously. There was a very lovely silver koi we kept a long time back. I can't remember what happened to it, but recalled that it had a number on its head, which my family thought was auspicious. Also, there was a orange-blackish koi which we "dumped" into the koi pond at Dunman High (my secondary school). When I last visited the school lotsa years back (maybe around 5 years?), I could still recognize it and was happy to see it grow till quite a big size. At home, the size of the tank restricted its growth and the pond in school is definitely a much bigger home for it.

Well, so much about fish.

WW is sleeping soundly on the bed now and I don't want to disturb the sleepy man. Now we could hardly hold late nights anymore, after both of us started working. Sleep is precious, and work is draining. After the recent switch in department, work has been piling up rapidly. Tough! But very challenging and exciting.

Then again, it's the weekend here already! Another resting time and time to relax!

It's a Fair Balance

One of my close friends got married last Saturday. We were all very happy for her, seeing her tie the knot with her beloved partner. Then on Tuesday, I got a piece of upsetting news. My colleague lost her baby which is no bigger than 2 months old.

There are many encounters and life experiences that we got to know of as we walk down life's path. Ups and downs are just what one needs to face in life. As I grow older, I get more emotional about the events that occured, though not having a direct impact on me. When I see Sophia and Vincent walking down the wedding aisle, I felt so touched and truly happy for them that I want to tear a little. When I heard about my colleague losing her baby, I didn't know what to say or feel then as this was totally unexpected. Humans are just so vulnerable, susceptible to whatever fate that has been laid out in front of us.

I realise too that at work, mutual respect is very important in maintaining a professional and close working relationship. At first, you may not think much of your boss or peers, and even attempt to put them down. However, after a while, when you put yourself in their shoes and think in their prespective, things become clearer and you will be able to understand why certain things are done or thought some way. Thus, I've come to see my new function head in a different light and applaud him for some of the initiatives he has taken.

Day Off - Shiok!

Yay! It's my day off today! It feels great to be let off the hook of work. Today is WW's convocation; how time flies. Congrats dear WW! When I think of my convocation last year, it seems like years ago. Now both of us are official working adults, having to shoulder responsibilities, start saving prudently and soon, plan for bigger and grander things ahead. An exciting future to look forward to!

I'm so hungry now, waiting for my sister to wake up for breakfast together. I've waited for an hour! Time with my dear sis is precious nowadays, due to her working hours (4pm-midnight). Most of the time when I'm off to work in the morning, she is still deep in slumber. And when she's back from home, I would have been sound asleep. So we've a designated catch-up time on Thurs night when we go for teh at the 24-hours coffeeshop downstairs. Next time it would be even harder to catch up when she gets married and moves into Tong's and her flat.

Talking about moving into flats and marriage, I've attended another of my dear friend's wedding on Sat! I was one of the five jiemeis helping her out on her Big Day and was so happy for her and her hubby. Yep, this time round it was Sophia and Vincent, both walking happily and blissfully, hand-in-hand down the aisle. It was pretty touching at parts of the wedding when she and Vincent did the march-in, when their montage was showing and when both gave their speeches, giving thanks to their parents and friends. Oh boy, I was a little teary then! When did I start becoming so emotional?

Churny Tummy

My stomach has been churning weirdly these few days, especially in the morning. This started a week ago when I first experienced having the need to go "do big business" while on the MRT train on the way to work. Previously I had to wait till 11 plus am or very near lunchtime for the feeling to come. That was a hard wait coz if I miss that period before lunch, no more feeling would come in the afternoons. Blame it on my weird stomach. But anyway, I don't really have an appetite these days. I don't feel hungry during my usual mid-morning snack hours and during lunchtime. Most of the time, after relieving, a somewhat painful and strange feeling would stay in my tummy for quite a while. I wonder what is wrong.

By the way, today is Friday! Time to let hair down and have some good fun! A packed yet exciting weekend ahead. Yea.

To be faithful, or not to be?

I'm a Xanga faithful, but created a blogspot account for the sake of posting comments on my friends' sites. So well, I'll see if this is more user-friendly than my long-time companion, Ah-Xan. Till then, take care!