Go with your flow

Shou Bi is singing to 我是不是你最疼爱的人 and though he is some way to being a good singer, it's sweet. Sometimes thinking back, it's hard to imagine my dear brother is reaching 20 in half a year's time.

See below. I used to care how others view me and my quiet character. Especially when there were quite a fair number of entries in my Primary six autograph book encouraging me to open up and speak more so that others could know me better. These days, I'm totally at ease with myself, being absolutely comfortable with myself and my introvert nature. Only my close friends and dear ones understand me. Everyone has his or her set of strengths and weaknesses; don't force yourself to be who you are not, embrace who you truly are.

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

Childhood Fantasies

Some of us friends cum colleagues were talking about teleports and how nice it would be to have them. This reminded me of my many childhood fantasies, of which one was to invent a teleport. Imagine the convenience of going anywhere, anytime you like. Another fantasy was to make myself invisible in front of my class-mates, with them wondering where I have gone to in the split second. Or having a time-reverser machine, going back to the moment where I wish to turn back events. I remember the desire for this invention was most strong when I failed to submit the points I’ve collected for the Scientist badge card thingy (if you recall the blue cards with various star-weighted tasks in it) on the last day of submission. Another one was to have a mind-reader (to be instilled only in my brain, no one else’s, hee) for me to understand exactly what thoughts each has.

Happy Mood Today!

It has been good since the morning, woke up on the right side of the bed (with Tian on the left side), and had my once-a-week routine breakfast of red bean pancake and teh downstairs. Yippie! On the bus to work, I was more awake than other days, reading my book and sitting semi-cross-legged. Wahaha. While walking from MAS building to office, the wind was breezing in my face, messing up my hair, but heck la coz it felt so good.

In the office, there is no meeting today, surprisingly! And my team lead is away most part of the day at a workshop, so I got to do things pretty much at my own pace, but also trying to be efficient.

At the end of the workday, before I was preparing to leave office for home, WW gave me a ring as he was nearby at Clifford Pier. So off we went to Marina South for a drink! Yay, this is like the first time we met during the weekday since quite a long while back. Impromptu yet sweet.

We dropped by Marina Coastal Pier, where Clifford Pier operations have shifted to, to check the place out. The view was good; we could see the open seas, the piers and the sunset shine. After that we had fruit juices at the food centre along Marina South then set off for home as both had dinner at home waiting.

Life is full of ironies and twists. I was still running for the Mercedes cab I spotted, with the parking offence ticket we kena at Marina South (we were there for only twenty minutes!). However, that didn’t dampen my high-spirited feelings. Then while happily seated in the Merz cab, I noticed how sad the taxi driver looked to me sitting in a clamped and limited space with his arms bent hugging the steering wheel. At the end of the day, still feel we are all out for a living, as long as we’re contented with what we have, we will naturally be happy! Nothing can’t quite spoil my mood of the day!

That Won’t Help Matters

Mama was telling me, in a very agitated way, how my Dad loses his temper ever so often these days. Firstly it was the outburst at NTUC counter at the lady (who always helps him pack the groceries onto his wheelchair) over something irrelevant; then there was the rant at the kindhearted soul at Ya Kun who was helping them buy teh. These days, I do notice Dad getting angry quite easily too, sometimes talking loudly till almost shouting at Mama.

Yes, it’s no good to get angry like that, but I believe he doesn’t want it this way either. What my mum does is detrimental in helping Dad cope with his temper, and in my opinion, may just make his temper worse. When you know you are short-tempered, the last thing you would want is to be term “坏脾气”. It’s like you knowing your greatest flaw, yet keep having someone criticising you of it. If you truly want to help someone get over his flaw, give him your encouragement and not your critical remarks.

However, in one way it’s true too that my mum has hardly any other channels of venting her bottled-up emotions. For us, we could easily go online, chat up with friends or seek retail therapy. But for Mama, she has few close friends and bases so much of her life on family, cooking for us everyday and going out only when she has Dad’s company. So sometimes I try to lend my listening ears, let her tell me her complaints and hope she feels better.

At the workplace, an initiative by the top management has gotten some of the scholars uneasy. Their direction is obvious, and my advice to the rest is not to take heart as the future lies in one’s own hands. To everything downside, there is a bright side or opportunity which we may not be able to see straightaway.

Also, these days I tend to feel less affected by the events happening around me. There seems to be this judging of things in a single dimension (the middle path?), to view things from a particular perspective (enlightment?). I think this could be the effect of believing in what I have been reading these days, on the impermanence of things and how we should treat others with compassion. This may sound boring but it does bring some level of calmness in spirits which makes me feel somewhat happier.

Here, we have to draw the line clear between immunity of feelings towards life (aka indifference which could be due to the mundane work life) and the resistance to rocky events that happen so dynamically around us. You have got to maintain your core values that serve as a strong foundation to see you through life. Like an outer vulnerable body with a metal inner core that regenerates cells and skin for the outer shell whenever it rots away. Hmm, what an analogy.

Will parents feel sad when their children start to have their independent ways of life?

Sometimes the best way to vent your anger is by acting cute! Make your arguments sound light-hearted and attempt to get your way through girly childish ways. That supposedly can diffuse the tense mood of the angered party and which lady doesn’t like acting cute? Shall try it the next time I’m about to explode.

Today is Fathers’ Day, which roused up some thoughts in me about how children drift off from their parents gradually and no longer are that close to their parents. Sometimes I have this desire to stay at home, just to interact with my parents to make them feel happier. Sometimes it’s hard to just leave them to do their own stuff and not be around them for the entire weekend. Weekdays are filled with work, thus weekends become more precious. Even though my parents have each other to go out with, and both do not have to work anymore, there are times when I thought they would enjoy going out with us children as a family. No idea how they are thinking though, do they want us to be around, or can just be as happy without us by their sides?

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Has been a great weekend! Shopping on Friday with Tian got my wallet $200 plus lighter, but in return we got a white skirt-jacket pair, two black and one grey tops suitable for work-wear, and some make-up foundation. Tian got a buckled metallic-chain Mango bag, the very hip type. On my own, I bought another white jacket for casual wear and a Phuture London lace top. Damn shiok to shop like that!

Saturday lunch was at 鼎泰峰with the babes from 98S26 – Steph, Sophia & Fang. The lucky mom-to-be still looks as great, unlike many other pregnant women who lose touch of beauty sense when carrying a baby in them. And the shopping for infant stuff after the lunch was fun! Little babies are very fortunate to be able to have extremely sweet and cute toys and clothes right from the moment they are born. Can be designer babies right from birth. Did some more shopping for clothes with Fang, got some tops (Fang, cool sexy top you’ve got ;)), and had good catching up done while walking down the malls. We both were lamenting about how lowly we’re paid and how to strive for a better future.

Early evening, WW picked me up and off to Esplanade and Marina Promenade we went. The sunset there was beautiful, though we didn’t sit facing it we could still see the orangish-yellow shine. Almost weekly I have my regular jogs there, but somehow sitting there with your loved one just passing time chatting about anything feels so different and special. Oh we saw this Boat Jet speeder boat racing past, with passengers on it and it driven by an ang moh. The jet had a shark’s face in front, and its body painted red. Fast and fierce, but very adventurous as it rocked from side to side and even went all the way out into the far open seas. I want a ride! Talking about rides, I suggested to WW on taking the DHL hot-air balloon high up into the air to get a panoramic view of Singapore, but he felt it a risk in case the balloon burst or the ropes broke. Must be cautious in life and avoid unnecessary exposures.

The Mobile Workforce

Congratulations to Wong Tian, on clinching a new job and leaving her current dreadful London hours work!

My power sister has switched two jobs, going into her third stable one next month, within 3 years of her graduation. And what have I accomplished? Still stuck here for close to two years, but things may not be status quo yet.

Can’t wait for later (on half-day leave), coz I’m going shopping with Tian! My shopping list:
- Shoes
- Shawl
- Suits
- Casual jacket
- Foundation
And let’s say, budget $500? Oh no, there goes my tight control!

Solitary Lives

1 – Transforming dissatisfaction at work
Be content with the work you have. So if you fail (do not get the promotion you aim for), that is where one’s attitude and the practice of contentment can make the difference between anger, resentment and frustration, and a calmer and happier attitude.

Applause to MacDonald’s, for adding (again) healthier sides to their menu! Corn, salad, apple dippers are added, all in an effort to promote a more balanced diet with added portions of vegetable and fruits in our meals. Hooray! Guiltless Beef Fantastic with its relatively low 310 kilo-calories and 3 g fats, unbelievable huh.

Relating back to my blog topic, people these days live pretty much on a solitary life. At the end of the working day when you have that sudden crave for shopping, you head off to shopping malls on your own. Or after exercising, you have your own dinner at the nearby coffeeshop or food court. During lunchtime, if you can’t find your lunch kaki you just drop by the nearest café or eatery. Taking lessons, getting gifts, checking out new places, running errands, all to be done on your own. I suppose that’s how an adult life works out to be. It is tough arranging a time convenient for all, and weekends are reserved for your loved ones. And often, you get things done more efficiently when alone, with more focus on the tasks on hand. Modern living.

Checkpoint: With more than half of 2006 passed by, have you accomplished or even on your path to achieving your goals for this year?

Town of Hallstat, Austria

Latest Book Purchase

Newest purchase from MPH bookstore. A book much in need, in tolling times in the new work economy. I’ve read the first chapter so far, and found it to be applicable and useful. It throws in a new light into our attitude and mentality, offering fresh perspectives, but which may be relevant to those who truly believes in values taught along the line of Buddhism.

Test of Integrity

Would you try to sneak out a pair of new shoes, both pieces of different sizes out of the shoe shop?

Under the encouragement of WW, I did that yesterday! To suit my feet of different sizes, I have to wear a bigger-sized shoe on my left foot, which means almost all the time I have to either squeeze the left foot or let my right one go unbound and dangling. When trying on the new pair of heels yesterday, one of us (can’t remember who) suggested mixing a pair with a right-side shoe size 36 and a left-side 37 together for purchase. As the saleslady took two pairs of shoes of both sizes for trying, I simply returned the pairs mixed up and told the cashier I wanted one of them. She took the pair, turned them around to check the size, confirmed with me if I wanted size 37 and packed them in the shoebox, without realising the jumble. We went out of the shop somewhat happily, not quite believing our luck of not being found out.

Which is a bad thing to do actually, haha. No integrity!

I suppose WW wanted to challenge my daringness at first, and to see if we really could get away with the mischief. Or maybe not playfulness only, as it would have been nice to have shoes that fit nicely thus we could have been serious about it. But honest me still went back to the shop after 10 minutes, claiming a mix-up. It was another lady we approached, who apparently was quite shocked that such a thing had happened. She told us the consequences, that the saleslady who did the hoo-ha had to pay for the pair, and might get a scolding. Quite jialat!

Heng ah. Both of us had an easier time after that, guilt-free and somewhat proud that we still have that sense of integrity in us. Heh~

Musing musings

So fast. It was one week ago when we excitedly packed for the Bangkok trip.

Not much feelings after the trip though. It has been work and more work, till at some point I was thinking of an escape route. Wednesday night it was 2am to bed, for the sake of doing an ECA at work.

Swam twice this week, the second time especially motivated by my new 2-piece swimming suit, with a halter-neck top. It’s cool to de-stress through exercising at the end of a busy workday; it lets your mind wander off and you go according to your own pace. What is even more pleasurable is the meal after the workout, be it a burger at MacDonalds or tau sa pau with teh at the nearby coffeeshop.

At what point do you decide what you are currently handling is enough and whether you are able to handle more things in your life? Sometimes faced with so many choices, will you be selective and pick only those that matter? How to tell which matter then?

Making a choice is tough, especially when the choice is tied to huge financial costs and efforts required. Decisions decisions, how to pick the wisest of them all?

Some Bangkok Photos

Well lousy blogspot couldn't post my photos all in one go successfully, thus the spoatic photos posts.

The evening view from our Hotel room at Royal Orchid Sheraton, 20th floor.
One of the myriad network of roads, which give us the 80's flavour. But rather clean, to my surprise.
Chinatown with lotsa birdnest, shark fins restaurants and yummy foodstuff from 林真香
We visited the Golden Buddha temple in the last morning we were in Bangkok. This statue kinda shines.

Together with some of my Technology colleagues, all dressed up for the retro theme at the D&D.

The public transport - buses and the ever-so-colorful taxis (spot them in yellow, pink, red, purple or blue - all in bright tones)
Thai version of the Big Sweep
Jiayun and me at the bazaar beside Golden Buddha temple (Wat Thrimitri)
Me in the hotel room. Watch the skies behind!

At Papong night market, where the dirty fun begins at night.

Back from Bangkok

First impressions:
- Old and a little dilapidated
- Bad traffic conditions, terrible jams
- Open concept living – housing and carparks which can be viewed from the highways
- Billboards advertisements – seems like their media is less controlled than our country’s

Subsequently after staying for a while more, I realised Bangkok is a quite a wonderful place to live in. The culture is kinda laid back, people simple and down-to-earth, and things generally go slow, much slower than in Singapore. To me, Bangkok is like Singapore in the 80’s, not that they don’t have modern shopping malls (Mah Boon Krong is just like any shopping mall back here), just that their streets and way of life are so much simpler. On the last morning there, Ah Yun and I rode on a tuk-tuk for a 10-minutes ride to the nearby Golden Buddha temple. Couldn’t describe how liberating it was on the tuk-tuk, with the air (and some exhaust fume) blowing onto your face, the traffic zooming by just beside you, the buildings beside the road so clear in your eyes. When the tuk-tuk driver rode past a bum, you could feel it in your bum, the joggle and jiggle of the joyous ride.

Time wasn’t on our side; we had only 1¼ days on our own. Shan’t detail the itinerary here, but it suffices to say you need at least one complete weekend there to get a full picture of the capital. Shopping at Mah Boon Krong will take up almost the whole day, then the temple visits another day, traditional Thai massage and spa for 2-4 hours (not to be missed), river boat ride, Chinatown visit, bird’s nest and abalone savouring, Suan Lum night bazaar, the pubs, the thrilling night clubs (with bikini-clad pole-dancers).. endless activities. So, I don’t do away with the consideration for a second visit!

One thing I really love is their Thai dessert, lookshoop! Will show you the enticing photo later!

Beyond coincidence?

It was exactly two years ago when I was sitting beside my packed luggage, all raring to go. 2nd June 2004, 2250, on board AF0257 bound for Europe. With a freshly-baked lo po bang from Changi Airport in my hands, specially for the man whom I couldn’t wait any longer to meet being apart for four months.

Tomorrow, 2nd June 2006, will be on board SG68 bound for Bangkok. This time round, the dear man will be staying put in Singapore, and busy fire-fighting at work. I wish I were sitting in the second-to-aisle seat with him beside me tomorrow.

男人，等个机会，我们一起逍遥快活去！