Today I have been an emotionally-charged lady. Upon reach WW's house, I was grumbling about not having his attention, with him watching Japanese babe in the TV program. But he just woke up from his nap after all, can't blame nan ren. After that, I was subconsciously noting to see if he looks at me during dinner, but didn't really detect much. I think there are times when he just blank out and let his mind stay in resting mode. Only females care that much about getting eye-contact attention all the time and want more attention than needed. Hee, but I haven't got my PMS in a long while, so that is a good excuse for me to feel more sensitive than usual today. On the whole, today was a great day and I felt it was very meaningfully spent. Just now WW drove me back home and came up to stay for a while. Just as he left for home, I felt a feeling of urge, to be beside him and to have his company all the time. Was feeling sad that we could only meet a few days later. Booohoo, all the softer side of me showing..
Haiz. I did my calculations on savings and expenditure just now and to my dismay, my projected savings were way too over-estimated. I could barely save close to $200 a month and my bank accounts were simply scraping through the months. What is the point of budgeting, scrimping and saving to face a near-depletion account at the end of the month? How much is enough to sustain my lifestyle? Perhaps I lead too lavish a lifestyle, spending around 100 bucks each time I go shopping (including unintended shopping trips). Do I need the working suit set and the pair of shoes? Do I need to do pedicure just because it would bring more business to the manicure shop owner and indirectly, making me a more supportive friend? Why does the world evolve around money??
Day after day, week after week. In the hot pursuit of supposedly noble goals and dreams, what exactly are we trying to achieve and have we achieved them in any sense? Are we making any progress? It's easy to lose sight amid the hectic life. Once again, I've got to ask myself the fundamentals of life and to challenge on the principles of setting such fundamentals. Is happiness more important than material indulgence? Will my pay be sufficient to sustain a luxurious lifestyle?
WW took me on a ride to the high-life's bungalows in the Bukit Timah and Holland area. Gosh. I didn't know such BIG houses exist in Singapore. For a split second, I thought I was in some part of Europe. How much efforts does it take one to own such a bungalow? Can anyone who is born a pauper ever attain such status? This is something beyond my dreams. And it makes me feel, what we need is not only the good fortune to be born in a rich family, but also the luck to bring or maintain (at least) the wealth. Either that, or one has to be the top of the tops, cream of the crop, to be able to excel in his area of work or research. You can't be number 2, can't be the good among the best. In fact, in my opinion, it may be better to be the no. 1 in your area, doing something passionately and with your honed expertise, than to be one of the "generalists" in an area which fetch high rewards.
Such is life! I've gotta rethink my prorities, especially been putting in lotsa time and thinking into the work aspect. Everyone needs his goal to push things on, to believe in a better future!
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