Can't help feel disappointed by his loftiness and self-absorption. It doesn't hurt to show a little concern. You have to know the priorities in life; some things done at the right time proves so much more.
It doesn't help even if you drop by but your heart and mind are elsewhere. If you prefer to relieve your mind-bogs by flipping the magazine, do that at home. You always keep your thoughts to yourself, staying silent while choosing to believe I prefer silence too.
Somehow I can't imagine how living, during the workdays, with you will be like.
Sigh.
心里的痛，从哪儿掏？
Monday, February 25, 2008
There's this bug in the office!
It’s uncomfortably cold in the office since this morning. Maybe it is the clouds and haze blocking out the sunshine that keeps us warm. My fingers are frosty and a sense of unwell is creeping in. Have popped in a vitamin C pill to build up my immunity and a panadol to keep my growing headache at bay. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
I have this strong urge again to move on to new fields. :p
I have this strong urge again to move on to new fields. :p
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Dad's love
Seems like this is a good lunar year ahead. I'm feeling happier and more positive as the days go by. :)
Last night I was rubbing the big blue-black on my ankle and recalled those days in PGP when my ex of two weeks helped me rubbed those taekwondo-induced blue-blacks. wahaha. But of coz I was quick to redeem myself with recounts of the finger and back massages my dear NR gives me.
This morning dad woke up early to make breakfast for sis and me. He had the teh and half-boiled eggs all ready for us. Recalled those primary and secondary school days when Apa used to make breakfast for us too before sending us to school. It has been a long long while since we get to enjoy Dad's breakfast love, especially after we went to University and led lives of our own in hostels. Apa has started on his breakfast "endeavour" after seeing me complain about not having teabags at home during those few days I was on MC in the past weeks.
Apa cares a lot for us. When we were young, he tended to our fevers by waking up at intervals in the night and early morning to replace the warm towels on our foreheads and to pop us with panadols. He also fetched us to school every morning; that time while we were in Maha Bodhi it was all the way from Bedok to Old Airport Road area. He's the kind of strong and silent dad. And it's sweet how he played with my hair, albeit a little subconsciously, at my aunt's place during CNY. Hee.
Last night I was rubbing the big blue-black on my ankle and recalled those days in PGP when my ex of two weeks helped me rubbed those taekwondo-induced blue-blacks. wahaha. But of coz I was quick to redeem myself with recounts of the finger and back massages my dear NR gives me.
This morning dad woke up early to make breakfast for sis and me. He had the teh and half-boiled eggs all ready for us. Recalled those primary and secondary school days when Apa used to make breakfast for us too before sending us to school. It has been a long long while since we get to enjoy Dad's breakfast love, especially after we went to University and led lives of our own in hostels. Apa has started on his breakfast "endeavour" after seeing me complain about not having teabags at home during those few days I was on MC in the past weeks.
Apa cares a lot for us. When we were young, he tended to our fevers by waking up at intervals in the night and early morning to replace the warm towels on our foreheads and to pop us with panadols. He also fetched us to school every morning; that time while we were in Maha Bodhi it was all the way from Bedok to Old Airport Road area. He's the kind of strong and silent dad. And it's sweet how he played with my hair, albeit a little subconsciously, at my aunt's place during CNY. Hee.
I must be crazy!
Craving for a Coach wallet, despite getting a new wallet from a dear friend for birthday. Crazy me!
This has all the necessary compartments I need - 10 credit card slots, an ID window, 2 bill slots and an external coin pocket which I can choose not to use. Only thing is it is in white which I may not be able to maintain very clean for long.
This is close to perfect! Only if it's not a black-skinned interior. It has the same number of pockets and slots as the first.
Pockets seems insufficient. But the whiteness is nice too.
This has all the necessary compartments I need - 10 credit card slots, an ID window, 2 bill slots and an external coin pocket which I can choose not to use. Only thing is it is in white which I may not be able to maintain very clean for long.
This is close to perfect! Only if it's not a black-skinned interior. It has the same number of pockets and slots as the first.
Pockets seems insufficient. But the whiteness is nice too.Sunday, February 17, 2008
Fougasse
During my spare time today, I tried a simple bread recipe using baker cum author Richard Bertinet's kneading technique. This fougasse, made with white dough and very simply nothing else, tasted like the crusty tip of a French loaf. Hard crispy crust, I like. But it may be a little too hard for the less solid teethed. =P
Almost identical to the one made by the author!
Almost identical to the one made by the author!How to make the best out of a precious day?
Today's what I deem a superb-weather day - the sun is bright and sunny, winds gusty yet there are with some light clouds. The perfect weather to do outdoor activities or just lie on the grass fields looking at the sky.
Furthermore, it's a Sunday. Just the right day to do some lazing, soul-searching and resting.
I often wonder if what I'm doing at the moment most fulfills my soul's desire. I wonder if there is something that makes my heart leap and makes me feel like I'm living both in the moment and in eternity. Imagine dancing around in vast green patches, speeding down a highway in the convertible with the sun overhead, standing at a cliff's edge looking down at the communities below you, flying like a bird in the air. Some part of me is secretly yearning to live those unforgettable moments.
But thinking back, I miss the winds blowing into my living room and the evening sun shining into my room, whenever I'm away from home for long. The place I often want to go back to is my home (and these days, 30 BD too) despite having lived here for 20 years.
To not waste a precious day is to live the current moment, appreciate the beauty of nature and things around you and not to worry about missing out on anything at all. Because the good things will remain or return.
(P.S. I'm still having a blocked nose and stuffed ears, a result of the flu since last Sunday. And I'm missing WW who has to work over this weekend and thus couldn't meet for these few days. Good thing we met on Valentine's. :))
Furthermore, it's a Sunday. Just the right day to do some lazing, soul-searching and resting.
I often wonder if what I'm doing at the moment most fulfills my soul's desire. I wonder if there is something that makes my heart leap and makes me feel like I'm living both in the moment and in eternity. Imagine dancing around in vast green patches, speeding down a highway in the convertible with the sun overhead, standing at a cliff's edge looking down at the communities below you, flying like a bird in the air. Some part of me is secretly yearning to live those unforgettable moments.
But thinking back, I miss the winds blowing into my living room and the evening sun shining into my room, whenever I'm away from home for long. The place I often want to go back to is my home (and these days, 30 BD too) despite having lived here for 20 years.
To not waste a precious day is to live the current moment, appreciate the beauty of nature and things around you and not to worry about missing out on anything at all. Because the good things will remain or return.
(P.S. I'm still having a blocked nose and stuffed ears, a result of the flu since last Sunday. And I'm missing WW who has to work over this weekend and thus couldn't meet for these few days. Good thing we met on Valentine's. :))
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Sick nottoz
My body is getting weaker, it seems. Just two weeks ago I was down with stomach flu and now I'm bugged with a serious common flu. The doctor gave me two days' MC to rest at home and with pills to cure my runny nose, cough and dissolve my phlegm. I'm not able to attribute this to work, coz workload has reduced since start of the year. Could it then be a result of more worries of the uncertainties ahead? Or am I the workaholic who breaks down when deprived of the challenges and stress at work?
Nevertheless, I'm happy to have enjoyed the CNY festivities. We did not do a lot of house-visiting, but instead spent quality time with family and loved ones. On the first lunar day, WW came over and drove me to Changi Airport T3 to celebrate my birthday with the slices of Patissier cakes we bought the day before. On the second day, I went over to his house to bai nian and caught 长江七号 with him, his sister, cousins and uncle. (And I cried a little during the show when 周星驰"died"; can you imagine I'm so prone to tears now?) On Sat we went to 观音庙 then back home for a round of mahjong with WW, Tian and Mr. RK. On Sun WW accompanied me to Parkway Parade where I got two bread-making books. Then we went to East Coast Park for kite-flying. It's a simple yet happy date. :)
Nevertheless, I'm happy to have enjoyed the CNY festivities. We did not do a lot of house-visiting, but instead spent quality time with family and loved ones. On the first lunar day, WW came over and drove me to Changi Airport T3 to celebrate my birthday with the slices of Patissier cakes we bought the day before. On the second day, I went over to his house to bai nian and caught 长江七号 with him, his sister, cousins and uncle. (And I cried a little during the show when 周星驰"died"; can you imagine I'm so prone to tears now?) On Sat we went to 观音庙 then back home for a round of mahjong with WW, Tian and Mr. RK. On Sun WW accompanied me to Parkway Parade where I got two bread-making books. Then we went to East Coast Park for kite-flying. It's a simple yet happy date. :)
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Summer exclusive
Today was a half-day. I met WW for lunch at Amoy food centre before heading to his house, where we took a rest before visiting the two doggies - Ally & Shasha - which were quarantined. The doggies were back from NYC last Tue.
Played with the little mixed-character Summer (Highland Terrier aka Westie) and took some photos of her. She appears to be very guai sometimes but naughty like a puppy when she knows you well enough.
Played with the little mixed-character Summer (Highland Terrier aka Westie) and took some photos of her. She appears to be very guai sometimes but naughty like a puppy when she knows you well enough.
Summer tilting her head when I made funny high-pitched noises. So cute :)Monday, February 04, 2008
Jayce & Jason's wedding
We had a fun time sabo-ing the brothers on Feng's wedding day! The best part was the big big heart filled with $$$ notes. Woohoo!
Wishing Feng & Jason 甜甜蜜蜜到永远！
A high Tian taking photos of us while I was driving along SLE. We were on the way from the bride (Feng)'s house to the groom (Jason)'s house.
Lucky Ivan to sit between Jun & XH
In the lift of Jason's house. Our faces a little sweaty from the morning's games. You can imagine how the brothers have sweat outside the house.
Jun, Tian, XH, me
The sisters (with Ivan) and the wedding couple
Happily taking photos of ourselves while waiting for Feng to change into her teadress
Me and Ivan
Sisters with the couple. Feng in her very pretty and special tea dress.
Back to Feng's house. The couple with Feng's big big family!
Feng's nuclear family. And shy doggie.
The Brothers. Quite sporting - lucky for us
Sisters Brothers combined
The dinner @ Furama Riverfront Hotel. Sisters manning the reception desk.
Annie (Ivan's ger) with Jun, XH and me
My dear Nan Ren :)
Dear Huang Tian sis
Ivan and Annie
Feng in her wedding gown. Jason blocked by the tall wedding cake
In their evening gowns
Wishing Feng & Jason 甜甜蜜蜜到永远！
A high Tian taking photos of us while I was driving along SLE. We were on the way from the bride (Feng)'s house to the groom (Jason)'s house.
Lucky Ivan to sit between Jun & XH
In the lift of Jason's house. Our faces a little sweaty from the morning's games. You can imagine how the brothers have sweat outside the house.
Jun, Tian, XH, me
The sisters (with Ivan) and the wedding couple
Happily taking photos of ourselves while waiting for Feng to change into her teadress
Me and Ivan
Sisters with the couple. Feng in her very pretty and special tea dress.
Back to Feng's house. The couple with Feng's big big family!
Feng's nuclear family. And shy doggie.
The Brothers. Quite sporting - lucky for us
Sisters Brothers combined
The dinner @ Furama Riverfront Hotel. Sisters manning the reception desk.
Annie (Ivan's ger) with Jun, XH and me
My dear Nan Ren :)
Dear Huang Tian sis
Ivan and Annie
Feng in her wedding gown. Jason blocked by the tall wedding cake
In their evening gownsFriday, February 01, 2008
I miss WW
This is one of the first few photos we've taken and I like the way it was taken. 我们迈进第五年！It's so cold tonight, I just want a 抱抱 from the 男人.Be happy my dear ger! :)
Tks for the advice :)
Soon there'll be an answer.
Today marks the start of the second month of 2008. I'm pretty numb to these things, after a while. The turn of a new year didn't make a mark on me; CNY will just come and pass. I used to look forward to these times of the year, but this year every event seems the same.
I am down with stomach flu and am nursing my sickness at home. Although the discomfort in my tummy is not acute, it can be rather irritating as it affects my overall energy levels. And it brings along fever and a headache. Now I can understand the discomfort WW has to bear when faced with a bloated stomach. But I would still be willing to take over his share of the discomfort, as long as he feels good and is healthy.
Tomorrow is Feng's customary wedding day. We seven sisters (except for Xuan who is in Aussie and can't come back this time round) will be helping out from the early morning. Time for us to exercise our creativities and exhibit the mean side of us. We are going to sabo the brothers! Wahaha. I remember vividly that three years back I used to do the same for Stephie, then two years back for Sophia, helping out as a sister on their wedding days. These events now bring tears in me (and my eyes) although I thought I used to be a strong, no-tears lady. I'm getting emotionally vulnerable to these meaningful events in life coz in this cold realistic world, it always warms my heart to see such strong emotions and faith hold true.
To dear Feng, wedding is a beautiful thing. Although it may come with hassles and troubles, it is worthwhile as both joys and frustrations come as one like the black and one seeds in a chess game. Let go of your expectations and take whatever comes up with an open mind and heart. Just go with the flow! Meanwhile, you have us behind you for support!
Soon there'll be an answer.
Today marks the start of the second month of 2008. I'm pretty numb to these things, after a while. The turn of a new year didn't make a mark on me; CNY will just come and pass. I used to look forward to these times of the year, but this year every event seems the same.
I am down with stomach flu and am nursing my sickness at home. Although the discomfort in my tummy is not acute, it can be rather irritating as it affects my overall energy levels. And it brings along fever and a headache. Now I can understand the discomfort WW has to bear when faced with a bloated stomach. But I would still be willing to take over his share of the discomfort, as long as he feels good and is healthy.
Tomorrow is Feng's customary wedding day. We seven sisters (except for Xuan who is in Aussie and can't come back this time round) will be helping out from the early morning. Time for us to exercise our creativities and exhibit the mean side of us. We are going to sabo the brothers! Wahaha. I remember vividly that three years back I used to do the same for Stephie, then two years back for Sophia, helping out as a sister on their wedding days. These events now bring tears in me (and my eyes) although I thought I used to be a strong, no-tears lady. I'm getting emotionally vulnerable to these meaningful events in life coz in this cold realistic world, it always warms my heart to see such strong emotions and faith hold true.
To dear Feng, wedding is a beautiful thing. Although it may come with hassles and troubles, it is worthwhile as both joys and frustrations come as one like the black and one seeds in a chess game. Let go of your expectations and take whatever comes up with an open mind and heart. Just go with the flow! Meanwhile, you have us behind you for support!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Weather overcast
nottozlady is troubled over whether to pursue her Masters after all. Financially it’s going to be very tough. What will happen to the monthly household allowances the family has been getting? Does she have to spend up to two hours on public transport getting to the school campus, four days a week? Can she get married this year?
Lots of things are uncertain; the weather seems overcast. The longer it is, the gloomier it becomes.
Separately, she wonders if she’ll be able to eat her birthday cake this year.
Lots of things are uncertain; the weather seems overcast. The longer it is, the gloomier it becomes.
Separately, she wonders if she’ll be able to eat her birthday cake this year.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Drive with care!
It's weird and somewhat heart-wrenching to see two car accidents on the way home last night. The first was a red proton which seemed to have skidded in the CTE tunnel. The damage shouldn't be so great; though windscreen was shattered, the airbags were activated. Then along AMK Ave 1, another collision occurred with three cars (two were taxis) involved. The middle taxi was badly damaged, with great impact on its rear, having being rammed straight on by the taxi behind. I didn't get to see very clearly since I was driving, but WW saw the cab driver of the middle vehicle with bloodied head and was unconscious at his seat. Hope all are fine.
One can't emphasize enough the importance of safety in driving. Given my character to want to be fast and efficient in everything, I could not stand slow drivers and sometimes am tempted to beat amber traffic lights so as to save that few minutes of the journey. But good thing WW always instills the good habits of driving in me and I've since learn to be more cautious and patient.
One can't emphasize enough the importance of safety in driving. Given my character to want to be fast and efficient in everything, I could not stand slow drivers and sometimes am tempted to beat amber traffic lights so as to save that few minutes of the journey. But good thing WW always instills the good habits of driving in me and I've since learn to be more cautious and patient.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Reflections on the fly
Took Fluffy out for a cycling trip to Pasir Ris park and took the chance to reflect on the intricacies of life.
The view on the overhead bridge above TPE, from Tampines Sun Plaza park to Pasir Ris
No, that's not Fluffy's vomit. Ha, I poured water onto the sand.
What a sunny day, just the right kind of weather for one of my favourite activities.
Fluffy does know how to appreciate the beauty of nature. Lovely little dog, just that she refused to look into my camera. hmf
I thought about a lot of things in the 2 hour cycling trip. Thought about the lot WW picked at the temple and what it meant. I wondered if he would have plans if not for the manpower plan his co drew up. Then I realised I know very little what the grand plan would unveil in future for us. Does he know?
I have not been feeling genuinely happy for a while now. My mind replayed, in brief moments, the 26 years before now. When was my happiest moment? Those kinda happy moments that last? I suppose it was the hall days, those times when I had my time to myself and the flexibility to organise my life the way I wanted it to. Of coz, not forgetting the interesting moments of learning about and understanding a person so close to you.
I can't be feeling neutral all the time, without ups and downs. It leads somewhat to nonchalance and it'll be rubbed off onto the ones around you. Conversely, I hope he will be able to feel more genuinely and open up to the spectrum of emotions that humans can experience. It's not only white, grey or black. Look at the rainbow in the sky.
The view on the overhead bridge above TPE, from Tampines Sun Plaza park to Pasir Ris
No, that's not Fluffy's vomit. Ha, I poured water onto the sand.
What a sunny day, just the right kind of weather for one of my favourite activities.
Fluffy does know how to appreciate the beauty of nature. Lovely little dog, just that she refused to look into my camera. hmfI thought about a lot of things in the 2 hour cycling trip. Thought about the lot WW picked at the temple and what it meant. I wondered if he would have plans if not for the manpower plan his co drew up. Then I realised I know very little what the grand plan would unveil in future for us. Does he know?
I have not been feeling genuinely happy for a while now. My mind replayed, in brief moments, the 26 years before now. When was my happiest moment? Those kinda happy moments that last? I suppose it was the hall days, those times when I had my time to myself and the flexibility to organise my life the way I wanted it to. Of coz, not forgetting the interesting moments of learning about and understanding a person so close to you.
I can't be feeling neutral all the time, without ups and downs. It leads somewhat to nonchalance and it'll be rubbed off onto the ones around you. Conversely, I hope he will be able to feel more genuinely and open up to the spectrum of emotions that humans can experience. It's not only white, grey or black. Look at the rainbow in the sky.
My proudest Mahjong moment
Ruby dragon! Did a 红一色, which won me 15 fans in my PC mahjong game last night. If only this could happen in real life!Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Shopping!
I was on leave today, with the intention to study for my GMAT if I did not get to finish my practice book over the weekend. But good thing I completed it last night and had the whole day today for shopping! Went to Tampines Mall for lunch with parents. (I like to take the chance to buy lotsa yummy food for them, since they usually scrimp and share a plate of rice). Then spent two hours or so shopping for new clothes. See the fruits of the trip!
New clothes for the new year. Hmm, was I already engulfed in the sea of CNY's ang-ness?
New clothes for the new year. Hmm, was I already engulfed in the sea of CNY's ang-ness?
Monday, January 14, 2008
You hardly see me blog on Monday but today is an exception!
It has been an eventful day and a very busy one at work. As usual, Mondays are the S.G. days and are as black as ever. Today's been so hectic that the main big event seemed like a non-event at the end of the day. And this (non-) event even slipped my mind when I smsed to WW this evening.
Today took a ride from office to home. Unfortunately, CG's car got a bump at the back from a cab. Poor thing that his car was only a month old. But the good thing was that it was only 皮外伤，没有内伤。 C handled the situation amiably; I don't know if I could maintain his cool if the car was mine.
I am on leave for the next four days! Managed to finish the thick practice book and will be moving on to the sample papers (six of them!) in the next two days. I may be able to do shopping on one day even. For now, I'll play my mahjong game first.
Today took a ride from office to home. Unfortunately, CG's car got a bump at the back from a cab. Poor thing that his car was only a month old. But the good thing was that it was only 皮外伤，没有内伤。 C handled the situation amiably; I don't know if I could maintain his cool if the car was mine.
I am on leave for the next four days! Managed to finish the thick practice book and will be moving on to the sample papers (six of them!) in the next two days. I may be able to do shopping on one day even. For now, I'll play my mahjong game first.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
I wish I could blog more often
I wanted to write a short blog entry after lunch earlier, since it was pouring horribly heavily and it somewhat evoked my blogging emotions. However, once the work starts, it doesn't stop, at least not any small time gap for me to blog. Work's getting heavy and stressful, having to do things that should be done by another team and not quite getting the recognition for another piece painstakingly done by me. Just because my boss is a high-level person and might not have conveyed the detailed info on to the bigger boss.
That's why I feel, although my working hours are ok (I knock off at 7 plus usually), I still face high stress during work. Reporting to two direct bosses is not an easy feat.
On happier matters, I met up with two of my Computing seniors last evening. It had been some four years since we last met! I find them to be pretty down-to-earth people who slog hard to advance ahead. One of them is taking Masters in Information Systems and the other switched line for better long-term prospects.
I remembered the guy taking the Masters was eyeing a Celica some years back. And now he owns one, which he further zengs up. And of coz I had the privilege to ride in it last night, woohoo! (I still hope to ride in a Honda Integra one day. Or perhaps, I should aim to own one.)
Life's tough. Aim high and pray hard.
That's why I feel, although my working hours are ok (I knock off at 7 plus usually), I still face high stress during work. Reporting to two direct bosses is not an easy feat.
On happier matters, I met up with two of my Computing seniors last evening. It had been some four years since we last met! I find them to be pretty down-to-earth people who slog hard to advance ahead. One of them is taking Masters in Information Systems and the other switched line for better long-term prospects.
I remembered the guy taking the Masters was eyeing a Celica some years back. And now he owns one, which he further zengs up. And of coz I had the privilege to ride in it last night, woohoo! (I still hope to ride in a Honda Integra one day. Or perhaps, I should aim to own one.)
Life's tough. Aim high and pray hard.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
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