Day Out with Apa Ama

It was shopping with Mama and Papa yesterday! We went to Shaw Tower to check out Mama's dress for my wedding banquet.

A carefree, free-spirited me at the Shaw Tower carpark with wind breezing in my face. Carefree coz it's only the second week into the new mini-term, which means that the school workload has not quite pick up yet.View of the CBD from the carparkThe unique boutique that is a fusion of retro and modernity. All their dresses are cheong sam-styled with a twist of modern favour.
Both Apa and I waited a long long time for Mama while she tried on the dresses.The tailor areaPretty pink retro bricks, behind which are the fitting rooms.
Mama trying out the dresses. This has the old-time ma-jie flavour.
Mama is going to wear this to my wedding banquet! :) I got this for her!
This has a very nice cutting, too bad it screams bright green.
Happy Mama
Mama likes this very much, but I refused to let her wear it for the dinner coz it's a little too casual. I wanted to buy this in addition to the red one, but Mama felt the price was too steep.Lunch at Ah Loy Thai at Shaw Tower. Check out Mama's twisted mouth, haha.Wahaha
Happy times. Must soak in the bliss while it lasts!

:)

Picture dug out from mobile photo folder, taken somewhere between Mar - Jun 08. WW will be back in three weeks' time!

In anticipation.. or issit pre-emption?

I came by for a night's stay. I informed my future dad-in-law about it on Fri, but was asking myself earlier this afternoon if I should give my future parents-in-law a call to let them know I'd be having lessons and would reach late. I decided not to, thinking it's time to get used to having this place as my new home, and to give the message to PILs that I'd be part of the family. I won't want to keep on reporting my movements or inform my family when I would be home and when not - that is what I deem a total lack of freedom.

So, I came over after school, to find the big door tightly locked! Even though I could get past the front gate, I couldn't get into the house. All other side doors were locked securely (it's a good thing) too. I shouted at my PIL's window: "Auntie", "Uncle" for a number of times, but it seemed their TV volume was blasting disco music. I called their house number to find it engaged. I called FIL's mobile number to find it turned off. Not a surprise. I toggled with WW's car switch so that there were the beep beep sounds, but apparently it sounded too far away for their notice. I rang the doorbell, no one came to the door. Summer barked, no one could hear (although I suspected the neighbours could). How pissed was I! In the end I called Wanyi (WW's sis) on her mobile phone and glad enough, she picked up and helped me open the door. NOW I DEMAND MY SET OF KEYS! (And perhaps some little consideration.)

So you can't blame me for worrying. About what my life will be like living with in-laws. I have no qualms about them at all; they're very friendly folks who make me feel at ease and take good care of me. I worry coz I know myself well enough. I like freedom too much, and adore the feeling of having control. Sometimes it saddens me knowing I have no say in how I want the common furniture to be arranged, or how I want my things to be placed in the common places (e.g. my shoes in the shoe cabinet). It's not that my new family members do not allow me so, but the resistant me just don't feel comfortable infringing on space not my own. I like ownership and sometimes would like to declare something as my own (and as WW's, but just for the two of us). But I know I won't have our own house, I won't have my own car, which means I will have obligations (for using things that are not my own).

But now I look at the positive side. With less ownership, I will have less obligation - financially. WW and I still have a space belonging to just the two of us - the bedroom and adjourning study room. We have our say on how we want it designed and on the furniture pieces. I know for sure I have WW's support in the things I do, and that will be a strong factor in making living together manageable and harmonious. Furthermore, I will be spared the housecleaning coz they have a maid. And I suppose living as a big family will help build up strong ties, be it between the family members or between spouses.

On the other hand, I'll definitely miss my Wong Tian and Apa, Ama, Shou Bi and Fluff. Boohoo :_(
Typing this makes me wanna cry oreadi. Boohoo :_(

It may seem like I worry a lot. These feelings and emotions come to me early, and they leave in due time. It's always better to pre-empt what is to come so that I can manage better and get an internal conviction early. Then I'll be all-ready to face the world.

Weekend Roundups

Me miss WW.

Now that my exams are over, my human feelings are back and again I feel kinda void and empty. I go out on the streets, thinking about what we usually do during the weekends and wanting WW to be by my side right at that moment. Will just have to count down to another 3 weeks plus. What a long time it is.

Since exams are over, my classmates and I took the chance to catch up on non-school matters. Yesterday was drinking with my fellow study mates and with one of the friendliest and most helpful senior. Today was dinner with some project mates and other classmates. Had a good time catching up with them. Some of them really seem to know about everything under the sun, from US politics to the latest sports news. So much that it seems they have mega-brain power and perhaps sleep little to have the time to keep updated on so much news.

Today afternoon was our family outing (except for Shou Bi who's mugging away in his hostel) at East Coast Park. It was great! We set off respectively in HC's and WW's cars, ferrying Apa and Ama's wheelchairs and a bicycle. We went to the far end of the park, trying to stay as far away as we could from the dark clouds looming. We didn't get to escape from the rain entirely, but was spared the heavy part of it. Tian and I did a half-an-hour run, followed by cycling and blading while Apa Ama wheeled down the pavements for some exercise and sweat out. Fluffy was happily doing her walk, and mostly dragging Apa's wheelchair too. Happy to bring parents out to somewhere they have not been to in a while. All the logistics were worth it.

After our run / cycle / blade / wheeling /walk. Tian drove her guy's car and I was driving WW's, aka my, car. (wahaha)Closer-up - Me with Tian, Apa and Ama, and a dao Fluff with her back facing the camera
Happy family~
Shou Bi shall join us the next time :)

Drinks at Durty Nelly's @ Marina Square with my study mates. We have a guru with us here. Keke

Dinner with another group @ Marina Square Waraku. Jeremy (far left) was supposed to bring his wife along. We all were anticipating! But were disappointed when she didn't turn up.
Will the next dinner or gathering be one-and-half months later? (The end of our next exams.)

The weekend ahead

My last exam paper for this mini-term will be over in 12 hours. It's been a stressful (what's new) and somewhat fuller-than-full-time-work mini-term for the previous six weeks. But somewhat I feel better this time round, perhaps getting more in-tuned with being a MFE student. And it helps heaps to have very smart and big-hearted classmates who are so willing to share and guide us along.

There will be more hanging out with my classmates in the coming weekend, although not in the usual classroom / library setting. Tomorrow a few of us will be hitting the pub and on Sunday another group of us will be having dinner in town. I so wanted to get WW along and introduce him to my classmates but he's still in Aussie exercising away. But I'm sure there will be a chance come end-Dec when the class goes off for the 3-weeks break.

My dear sisters are going to tailor-make their dresses tomorrow too. Again I would like to join them but my Saturdays are booked all the way to late Dec! Blame it on full-day Saturday lessons, 9am - 530pm except for a lunch break, starting next week.

But then again, I should not be blaming the course as I'm basking in this flexible, free and refreshing lifestyle.

同花顺

I've been listening to songs, new and old, while studying. This is a pretty nice one to keep me going.

Can't wait for exams to end next Saturday. :)
And how good it would be to keep getting 同花顺s in life.

Weekend parties

It was Sher's masquerade birthday party on Sat night @ Karma Kettle, Dempsey Road. I rented elaborated venetian masks for the occasion, and made Tian wear the same mask as me. Had a good time chatting and catching up with old friends from JC and secondary school. No hardcore drinking (which I couldn't anyway coz I was driving), but we had a cosy pleasant time nevertheless.

Like Sher said - old friends are gold. It always feels different hanging out with the friends of 10+ years back. The birthday girl was the one in white mask. I like their hand-held masks, they were very elegant!
With Minfen, Tian & Xinyi (Joy). You won't be able to tell who's behind that mask.

Tian and I

Today is baby Josh's second-year birthday, and we celebrated over dinner yesterday. The happy family of 3 (to-be-4) - Steph, XZ and Josh. I wish I have a little boy of that age oreadi, but WW and I still have some way to go.

Josh was shy and shunned the camera and crowds after we sang his bday song. Such a cute little boy, especially when he hastily said byebye to us, despite having his eyes fixed on a big balloon and not us, when we left.

Caught him playing Thomas the train from the cake

Another happy family of 3 - Sophia, Vincent and their baby Ian.
Little Ian is one obedient kid, seeking approval from Mama before eating his food. That's the birthday cake in his mouth.
Huifang & Huiling

Ah, good to be in touch with the world again and with old friends. Looking to more to come.

Walk in the park with Mama Papa

I had wanted to exercise at Bedok Reservoir with Papa Mama this evening, but I had a headache since morning and decided to forgo the run. Apa Ama then set off on their own but headed to our nearby Watermelon Park (as termed by Mama) instead. On my way back from my new place, I thought of joining them and went by to the park for a stroll while Apa Ama did some exercises at the station and went one round in the park.

It looked easy, but Mama could do only two times on this equipment. A pretty tough machine on the arms - you will need to lift yourself up using the handle bars.
Slack me in glasses and without my necessary minimal makeup - concealer.
Apa at the same machine. He did it with more ease.
Greens on Blue

Hot and sunny day! It was 6 plus in the evening and the sun was still hot.
Apa on the hip-swinging equipment
See Apa's leg movements
Of light and shadows
My dear Apa Ama

I've been spending most of my day doing homework (again!) today. It's getting really boring. Counting down half a year before I end the course in Singapore and head to Carnegie Mellon. Not that I look forward to the exchange at Carnegie Mellon, but I know then that it will be the beginning to the end. And there's a holiday trip I can look forward to in June next year. :)

Public holiday break

I did manage to spend quality time with my parents yesterday. I knew I needed a run in the gym after checking my mini-term 1 results online in the morning. After the run, I joined my parents for lunch at 莆田, our newest favourite Chinese restaurant in Tampines Mall. Although it was a short one-hour-plus, I felt happy to spend time with them and let them enjoy the fine things in life. So, I cycled home, did some pieces of work from 330pm - 1230am yesterday. Yucks.

Good thing Tian jioed me for early morning yoga @ River Valley Point today. We did our very strenuous yoga poses (and almost fainted or collapsed) in the scorching 45.7 degree celsius room, starting from 9am, a time when my muscles and tendons were sleeping away. But it was worth it after all, coz it gave us the shiok factor that lasted through the day.

I went on to meet a fellow twin friend for lunch at Milenia Walk. My other twin was supposed to join me so that we could have some twin talk but she felt more like studying. So I dropped her at Fullerton Hotel when I went ahead, and rejoined her after my lunch. We proceeded to Fullerton Starbucks (all the other cafes in CBD were closed) for serious studying (like real). She was making notes in preparation for her FRM exam in mid-Nov, and me busy copying data into report format for my project. In the meantime I chatted with friends online, enjoyed the scenery and ate a yummy almond croissant. Hard to concentrate on studying on a public holiday - you see I'm still tuned to a working lifestyle.

Wong Tian the "one-in-a-million gf"
Me with natural rosy cheeks, haha
黑白双膜

Construction of Integrated Resorts @ Marina Bay

Although it was an eventful day, I still felt kinda empty at heart. It's true you miss your loved one even more during a festive occasion.

Priorities

So many things that I want to do, yet with so little time. I have no lessons for the next two days and really wanted to bring my parents out for a nice meal and some dou-feng, but I know I can't afford a whole day to do so. Without an entire day, there will be a lot of rush and urgency on myself to get things done efficiently, which I know it's not very much achievable when going out with my parents. Not that I mind the time and effort, in fact I would like to accompany them on special outings, but there will be a very strong urging in my mind to go home study and complete my assignments.

I don't like this kind of scenario.

There are just too many priorities on hand. I don't want to neglect my role of a good daughter and that of a good future daughter-in-law. But right now I know my top-most priority is my studies (at least, before WW comes back) and this course requires more than a full-time job. I study everyday, either busy doing the assignments or reading up the textbooks, and we even meet for projects on Sundays. It's like every minute matters. (Save for the first two weeks in every mini-term of seven weeks - our study honeymoon period.)

I wonder when I can bring my parents out for a ride and spend the whole day out happily.

Lazing the day away

The many faces of Fluffy. The younger Fluffy (on the left) appeared happier and the one at the bottom is the funniest - just look at her stoned expression.

Today I spent the whole day at home. Using this precious bulk of time, I did quite an amount of homework, taught my dad a little computer skills and simply enjoyed the different hours of the day. It felt like the times during my last year in Uni, where I spent my days mainly at home completing my final year project. I never thought I could get back these days of no-work and flexibility in time and in the things I can do during the day. It is indeed a bliss. Except that, now WW is away in Australia for work and we couldn't get to spend the beautiful weekday afternoons together. Not yet, till Dec when he's back.

Papa's bday & some random photos

It was Papa's bday last Tue and we celebrated with a lunch the Sunday before and cake-cutting on the day itself. Papa turns 56 this year. Don't know what kind of life I would lead when I turn 56. But it seems Dad is having a good time of his life :)

Papa happily singing his birthday song

See the big fat ang pow under Apa's fingers? We the filial daughters (and son, who is mugging away in NTU hall)

Greedy mama!

And some random photos from the last two months.

NDP 2008. See the big round heart drawn by the F16s?
Fave Summer the Dog
After grooming she looked more adorable. Worth the $51.

This was funny. Shasha sniffing at the butt of an indifferent Summer.中秋月圆. Actually it was one day post mid-autumn, where the moon was even rounder.

I bought the same top in orange. And spent a whopping $300+ on shopping yesterday. I need to stock up for one mini-term's worth of clothes. That's about 1.5 months. And also, it served as a form of retail therapy and to make up for the lack of "life" in the past two weeks.

Happy that WW is back. Gotta grab hold of him before he flies off to Aussie for another two months come this Sunday.

On school and modules

Yesterday's Corporate Finance was over. There were sections of the lecture notes I skimmed over thinking they won't be tested and they came out in the exam paper to many's surprise. So I think I have lost some 10 marks there. There were other questions I didn't quite know how to explain, but just smoked my way through. My grade for this module would probably not be good. But I'm glad it's over. This was one of the modules I don't have confidence in.

Today's exam is on Calculus, which hopefully *cross fingers* I can score, since the topic is not totally green. I recall I got A+ for Calculus I in uni. Haha.

After this evening, there are two more papers to go. Statistics tomorrow evening and Asset Pricing Theory on Sat. Next Tue we'll be starting our first lesson of mini-term 2 (so monumental since it marks the end of the start - mini-term 1). Pre-lesson, there are three stacks of notes waiting to be read. Assignments for the module (derivative securities) are all up. I suppose I'll be seeing a lot of my classmates in school from now onwards, spending lotsa time solving assignments together.

On a happier note, WW will be back tomorrow morning! Time to get back my life and time for more happy moments together :)

Exam crunch!

Four exam papers in a row, from this evening to Sat afternoon - it's crazy!
I'm walking around the house like a zombie now. And to think that next round of new modules will start next week, straight after exams. This is more no-life than working!

But I'm not regretting, coz I get to work at my own pace at the place of my choice. Hopefully after graduating from the course, it could give me more career choices too. Life is about having more choices, right? You then get the freedom to choose.

My late night blogs are back!

I'm back with my late-night blogs.

Had lessons till 1045pm just now, later than the usual 10pm as this was the last lesson before we close this module with its exam next week. As usual, I feel somewhat more stupid and more worried on Wed nights. Last week it was from trying to understand the case study and today it's due to the APT tutorial which there were some parts I still could not fully comprehend. Wed nights are no good, and I have to bear with it till Fri night when I'll start feeling a little smarter (because I will convince myself that I understand Statistics stuff).

Every so often, I'll have to remind myself the reason and motivation behind this path. Another pushing factor is the complaints I hear from classmates - I'm not the only one feeling stupid in the course.

It's weird how distant I now feel from the times when I used to lead the working lifestyle. In a way, I've been through the process and understand how working life feels, but the experience seems so far back and does not relate personally anymore. Thus, it's hard to weigh the pros and cons of taking full-time studies and putting work aside. But one thing I really appreciate now is the energy I still have at the end of the day. Like how I can study without feeling sleepy and grouchy. In fact, my mind is fully awake and alert at the end of lessons (held in the night) - the result of intriguing mathematics and lots of brain-twisting.

I'm going to the temple on Friday. And if time allows, every day next week too.

Studying into the wee hours... back to the old times

Ah, the wee hours of the day are still the best. I'm enjoying the golden moments, studying hard for coming exams next week. The radio is on, tuned in to the golden classics frequency, and the music is pleasantly breaking the silence of the early morning. Another chapter to go before I turn in to bed.

Last Thursday was a special day of its own. My dear sis and I had a great time together doing yoga in the afternoons and with her fetching me around in HC's car. It has been a while since both of us hang out together, and it's uncanny how we always get along perfectly well with each other. Perhaps because we started our bonding since in mama's womb. :)

WW has set off for Australia last evening but will be back in ten days' time. Although it won't be long till I meet him again, I couldn't help but feel emotional and sad, especially on Sunday (the one precious day of the week where we can devote entire time to ourselves). Furthermore, whenever I think of his next trip of two months from late Sep onwards, I feel a tinge of sadness and wonder how I can cope with my study stress while he's away. Just gotta grit teeth, bite lips, and hang in there.

:(

It's no fun... been a month but it feels like ages and I'm oreadi starting to count down.

Swamped with tutorials, assignments, projects and readings. My blog entries will be like this - short paragraphs with little content - till I get it over and done with. In some 10 months' time!

What is the definition of Success?

MFE student life is apparently not easy.

Lecturers have high expectations of us and take it that we have the required math foundations. Thus some of the tutorials are extremely difficult and we'll have to approach the professors to get our solutions. And to think we've spent days working on that one problem! Everyday to me has become a tutorial-chasing and catching-up game. All other things have been shifted to low priority and have to be cut down. Except for personal time spent with loved ones. That is why I'm not too pleased with the make-up lesson scheduled this Sat afternoon.

My supervisor (from work) called to inform of my appraisal grade earlier today. I wasn't too happy with it initially, thinking I must been have shortchanged due to my absence from work. But as I was running mightily on the treadmill thinking of the rationale, I came to accept the fact that it should be a fair judgment, given the expectations that I won't be contributing this FY and that my team was a mess last year before the new boss came in. Let's see how bonus compares the rest and I'll decide on my next move. I'll expect they compensate for it next year before I rejoin the company.

WW has been pretty stressed and unmotivated at work recently. I can't think of any way to help relieve this stress permanently, unless the day comes when he can leave where he is now. How can we ever break out of this race and routine lifestyle? Is it only the weekends we can look forward to, and the sparse holidays in between? Why can't we find the spirit and motivation to look forward to everyday?

Back to the appraisal, I feel inferior comparing with peers and upset that I might be lagging a lot behind when I rejoin the company. But, perhaps as a self-consolation, I'm glad of the fact that I'll be happily settling down into marriage this year and that I have the support of WW and my family. And even though I'm struggling through this year with an extremely-difficult course, I'll come out of it a stronger, and hopefully, a more valuable person. Perhaps, there really isn't a perfect well-rounded case when you get it all. There has got to be some sacrifices for other pursues. It matters then what you prioritise as important and really will have to drop the others.

Well, it ain't always easy. Just gotta take things in your stride and laugh all the unhappy stuff off!